I got a link to an article called “Best Friends for Never” by my best friend today which, as I first started reading it, made me angry. I got my female-thang on instantly and was all “Oh NO he didn’t” but then I actually thought about it, stopped being such a girl and had a laugh and realised it was all pretty much true. I hate to admit it, but girls are such bitches! No matter how nice we are or how hard we try not to, we all love to bitch and gossip and there’s nothing we can do to stop ourselves from doing it. I try not to bitch too much, though as a female I still do it and will reluctantly admit it’s kind of fun to do.
I am absolutely hopeless at being a bitch. I may come off as one with my ranty blog posts and sarcastic tweets, but I am generally a really nice person in real life. I’m the kind of person who will stay friends with someone who may not be all that nice to me, just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings by ending the friendship. Problem with that though, is that I am a girl and so leaving those sorts of people around in my life result in the need to bitch. And since I am such a social networking whore, naturally things get out of hand and very recently I ended up bitching about a friend on twitter with another friend, which the person in question later discovered. Needless to say I had some explaining to do, which has now resulted in me losing a friend. This outcome was actually something I wanted but because I had to be a typical female, I’ve hurt someones feelings in a public forum and made myself look like a right cow.
So my advice to all girls is this: Learn not to bitch. I know how unfeasible that sounds given how it’s apparently ingrained in all of us (boys too!), but we need to get out of this trap where we deal with our problems with other people by bitching about them behind their back! We all need to face up to what’s bothering us, particularly when it comes to the company we keep and start being upfront and honest instead of sneaky and nasty. I can think of about 1000 things I’d rather do than tell a friend they piss me off and I don’t want to spend any time in their company any more, but in the long run you’re better off getting it out there and saying it to their face so you can clear your conscience and not look like a total twat when they find out the smack you’ve been talking behind their back.
I made a dumb mistake by venting online instead of getting the balls to confront my friend, something I’ve been dying to do for ages but just never found the confidence to say it. Once I’d been found out, I told them what I’d been meaning to say to them all along and while I know their feelings are hurt and they now hate my guts, I had to do it in order to stop the vicious cycle. Otherwise, had I lied and apologised for being mean and patched things up, things would have just stayed the same and I’d keep bitching behind their back and being friendly to their face before eventually slipping up once again. I’ve caused some hurt in the short-term but in the long-term I’ve made both our lives much better.
Think of someone who you like to bitch about all the time. Do you need them in your life? Or could you it them down and work things out? Bitching causes small issues to become massive dramas because you work yourself up and your friend/s encourage you by listening and participating until the little thing that annoyed you in the first place has become somethings you’d be likely to see on Days Of Our Lives. Confront the issue without the bitching and get rid of the problem ASAP. Negativity is unhealthy and the less you have in your life, the better you will feel.
