Rule your High School Reunion

I just had my 10 year High School reunion this past Saturday night and I’m happy to say it went pretty well. I’d been looking forward to it for ages, since I am invariably a much more exciting and glamorous person since I graduated in 2000. But then as the date drew closer I got more and more nervous for no real reason that I could pin point. Maybe it was the fact I lost the job that made me sound super cool and so didn’t have that to boost my ego. Maybe the fact the one friend I kept in contact with since high school couldn’t make it which meant I was going to have to fly solo. Maybe it was just the fact I was going to have to spend a few hours with people I barely know and try and prove that I’m not that daggy tomboy they all remember (that is, if they even remembered me at all).

To prepare myself for the night I got myself a stunning new dress (an amazing pink party dress by Wayne Cooper) with nails to match, some sexy black patent leather heels, a spray tan, followed my eating plan strictly to ensure the maximum amount of weight dropped and also got my hair professionally styled to ensure it looked its best. Looking back at it all, it may have been a bit much, but I needed all the self confidence I could get – I’m such a shy girl and I just needed to look perfect so that I’d have that little extra boost to get me through the night. I was also COVERED in bruises from moving house all day Friday (13 fucking hours worth, what a drag) and most of Saturday so I needed to deflect the attention from the swollen black and blue marks all over my pathetic, weak body.

Despite initial nerves and a little bit of awkward “standing by myself wondering who I should go say hi to now”, I loosened up and had a good time (though I’m sure all of those vodka lime soda’s helped a helluva lot). I spent the first hour or so thinking I wasn’t looking that special because no one said anything, but then as everyone else loosened up, I got lots of amazing compliments which made me feel like a million dollars. Seriously, this was a huge concern of mine, so I was glad I did end up looking great and impresing people with how much I’ve changed. Plus it proved everyone was a nervous and restrained as I was, we all just needed a few drinks to get going.

For anyone who will be having a reunion sometime soon, I have a few tidbits of advice to make it work for you:

1. Look as fabulous as you possibly can. Don’t be half arsed about anything whatsoever. Most of these people don’t know you beyond how you looked at the age of 17 so make sure to WOW them by looking like the best possible you.
2. Get over the fact you were unpopular, nerdy, got bullied, had no friends, don’t speak to your high school friends any more, hated that “cool” girl who was mean to you that one time etc. It’s been 10 years for godsake, we’ve all changed and if they’re at the reunion then chances are they’ve grown up and have moved on also.
3. Know what you wnat to say. Don’t lie, but feel free to only tell people what you want them to know. If your job sucks, don’t bitch about it because that’s boring. Just tell them what you do for a living and then move on to what you are passionate about or your plans to get a certain job in a better field. You have every right to be as vague as possible. Outright lying though will probably cause more problems for you, especially if you get caught out!
4. If you find out you were a total shit at school (as I did) then apologise to the person and then make light of it and show that you’ve grown up and are a much cooler person now. In my case I was part of an obnoxious group of weirdo’s so we were able to laugh about it heartilly, you might have to work a bit harder if you were mean old bully but it’ll be worth it.
5. If you’re flying solo, do not fret because a lot of other people will be too. This actually gives you a great chance to talk to those people who you never/rarely spoke to at school and maybe find some new friends. I pesonally don’t think taking your partner is a wise move, you’ll spend most of the time worrying about them being bored and won’t enjoy yourself as much.
6. If you’re not sure about going for whatever reason – stop being a pussy and just go. What’s the worst that could happen, really? I was shocked that a lot of my friends hadn’t turned up, knowing most of them didn’t have any excuse not to be there. It makes you look like a jerk, so just go and have fun already!

Sweet Tits Luv

Now I sure this may rouse up some debate with the menz, but I often wonder if guys, especially the really gross ones, actually think giving sleazy eyes and making loud (usually inappropriate) comments at pretty girls is endearing?

Let me paint you a picture so that you understand where I am coming from. At lunch yesterday afternoon I was riding an escalator behind a pretty blonde girl. Down the bottom was a morbidly obese man who wore an old, faded sleeveless t-shirt that had sweat stains around his armpits and had man boobs like none I’ve ever seen before. He was a cretin, just a gross individual who clearly did not care about his appearance one little bit. This slug was staring at the hapless girl as she descended the escalator with no subtlety whatsoever. It was disconcerting enough for me and I wasn’t even the one being stared at. If that wasn’t bad enough, he then he turns and says to his rat-like mate, loud enough for all to hear “Aww nah she’s way too young” and continued undressing her with his beady, sweaty little eyes.

What would he have said if she wasn’t in fact abut 18 years old? If he’s going to be that vile and make loud comments about being too young for him, how would he have acted if she’s been his target age? I shudder to think! And why he HELL does he think it’s OK to say that sort of thing? Apart from the fact he was a total beast of  man, how does he expect to attract someone by shouting exactly what he feels at his object of desire? Even if he’d been a good-looking, well-dressed young man I’m sure he would have gotten the same sort of reaction (though the girl might have felt a little bit flattered as opposed to totally repulsed, I guess).

Now this guy clearly doesn’t represent all men, but a lot of guys out there seem to think yelling dumb stuff at pretty girls as they pass (ie. the old walking-past-the-construction-site stereotype) is a clever thing to do and will actually end well for them. I get it every time I walk past the deadshits who sit around the bus stop where I live, they holler “Hey gorgeous lady, I like yer tatts” as though that’s going to impress me and I’ll give them my phone number or a sneaky BJ. I refuse to believe this has ever actually worked for them, that there is a woman desperate enough out there to find that appealing and reciprocate. We can’t stop them from having a look, but don’t we have some sort of right to walk down the street without having stupidity thrust upon us just because we’re easy on the eye?

If you’re one of those guys who thinks it’s attractive to yell “compliments” at a pretty lady as she walks past, think again. There are very few women who like this sort of thing (you can tell who they are) so you have two options. the preferred one is to shut up and just appreciate what you see quietly. The second one, if you simply cannot keep your big yap closed, is to approach the girl and say something to her one-on-one, though you better make it good and not along the lines of “You have sweet tits” because you may very well get a slap or an angry “fuck off” in reply. If you do it right, you may be one of those lucky few who actually gets the girls phone number!

Personally, I spend a lot of time getting ready every day to look nice. Not necessarily for guys, it’s mostly for myself as I feel good when I look good. I don’t mind the occasional look from random blokes, because it makes me feel like my hard work was worth it, but I feel objectified when I get things yelled at me and so retaliate by yelling back how I feel (usually “Get a life, ugly”). I am inclined to think most women feel the same way, but obviously I could be wrong, so I’d love some feedback!

Guys: have you ever whistled at or yelled a comment out at a girl and had her reciprocate? What did you say and how did she respond?
Girls: do you like having guys wolf whistle and yell compliments at you? If so, why?

Makeup 101

I love makeup. I wear it almost everyday and am one of those girls who hates the thought of going out in public without my face on (or some mascara at the very least). I am by no means a makeup artist and I’m probably not even all that good at doing makeup (on myself or others) compared to a lot of other people, especially if all if the Youtube tutorials out there are anything to go by!  But I knows some of the basics and feel I should share these facts with you all for lack of anything better to do :D

Not all girls are into makeup, in fact I am sometimes surprised at how many girls I know who don’t wear makeup at all, usually because they just don’t know how to put it on! Then there are those who just aren’t interested in it, which is fair enough, though there is always a time and a place where makeup is necessary (unless you’re morally opposed to it, extremely allergic or a super-feminist, I suppose) which means you really need to know the basics to at least fool people into thinking you know what you’re doing.

1. Mascara is your friend! Invest in a good mascara because it is what makes all the difference to your face. Adding mascara when you don’t really feel like putting on makeup will trick people into thinking you are made-up because it makes your eyes pop and they’re the windows into your soul blah-di-blah-blah. Seriously it makes a significant difference and I do really believe you should not leave the house without it on your lashes!
2. Find the foundation that works for you. Do not go for whatever is cheap because you’re stingy. But at the same time, don’t just go for whatever is the most expensive because price doesn’t always = good. The first foundation you ever buy will probably not be the best one for you. You need to learn through practice, pretty much. I use Clinique Superbalanced foundation and find it’s the best one for me. There are probably other brands out there which I’d love more but until I find it, this is the foundation for me. I also LOVE mineral powder foundation as it’s easy and quick and makes you look pretty much flawless without all the extra effort and without making you look overdone. It’s also meant to be good for your skin but I think that’s probably too good to be true!
3. Learn the basics of makeup. It’s really not as basic as putting on some mascara and some foundation and looking amazing. There’s a bit more too it than that, I’m afraid! Think about things like blush and finishing powder (it’s what seals your foundation, otherwise you’ll just look kind of sticky and moist). You need to moisturise before applying your makeup too! So make sure you have a good moisturiser as well or else you risk nasty break outs form when your makeup clogs up all of your pores. Make sure you have the right tools for even the most basic makeup – a sponge/brush for applying foundation, a blusher brush, a finishing powder brush (I actually use the same brush for both blush and my powder needs), cotton buds to remove wiley makeup marks, makeup remover etc. The more complex you’re willing to get, the more tools you will need.
4. Learn to do eye makeup well (or not at all). Badly applied eye makeup make you look like a trash bag. If you can’t do your own eyeliner properly then don’t do it at all! Likewise with eyeshadow. The amount of times I have seen shitty looking eyeshadow ruining a girls face are countless and all totally needless. If you’re determined to wear fancy eye makeup then bloody well practice it before you reveal it to the world. And for the love of god, think about the colours you use because red might be your favourite colour but chances are it’s not going to suit your skin one and unless you have some mad skills then that’s one colour better left untouched!
5. Lipstick or gloss? Not everyone can wear lipstick, which is very unfortunate but something you should know about yourself before slapping it on and leaving the house looking like a clown. Some people suit a gloss, others (like me) get heir hair all caught up in it and can only really do lipstick. Work out what works for you and also make sure you choose colours that suit you and ensure you know how to apply the stuff. Just because you’re wearing clear lip gloss doesn’t mean you can smear it wherever without looking in a mirror! If you don’t have well-defined lips then you’re going to need to use lip liners before putting on your lipstick. Otherwise you’ll be know as Ol’ Patchy Lips McGee (well if you were my friend anyway).
6. Get your colours right! Just because that foundation was your colour last year don’t mean it’s the right shade this year! Our skin tones change all the time, due to tanning (or lack thereof) or just plain old aging, so you need to make sure your foundation is actually your correct skin colour before putting it all over your face. I thoroughly recommend getting the sales girls at makeup counters in department stores to do this for you as it’s their job and the lights there are great so they can work out your colour easily. This also applies for things like blush, lipstick, eyeshadow etc. Personally I always wear pink and black so I don’t need to update my colours often, but if you do change your wardrobe and style every season then your makeup should follow suit. Also, blue eyeshadow might be in right now but it will get daggy pretty quickly so do not keep wearing it unless you can really pull of such a vivid hue!

Once you have all of this sorted, you need to learn how to put it all on without making yourself look like a whore. Do NOT take your mum’s advice unless she always has flawless makeup herself because chances are she learnt how to do her makeup in high school and even then was never all that good at it. I suggest getting a professional to show you the ropes – usually this can be done for free (or at least very cheap) at the stand of your favourite makeup company at any department store. Otherwise there are a plethora of resources online to check out. For tips on foundation check out destroyx.com’s Basic QA for foundation and for pretty much anything else makeup related check out Doe Deere’s Blogazine as she is fantastic as a whole and will inspire you to experiment with colour! Meanwhile there are a zillion and one tutorials on Youtube that teach your everything from the basics of makeup application to some of the most amazing makeup masterpieces I’ve ever seen (check out this Edward Scissorhands costume makeup by Kandee Johnson – it is AMAZING!). Or at the very least get your friend who has the skills to give you some tips – there’s nothing much a girl loves more than passing on her style tips to a needy friend!

No matter how often or how rarely you make your face up, there’s no excuse for doing a half-arsed job. Good makeup is not meant to be noticed, but it’s the first thing people will see when done badly!

The Art of Gift Giving

I am sure this advice probably would have been better for all if given before the holiday season had finished but I am just not that clever and so I am giving it now instead. Better late than never, I always say!

Some people are good at giving the right gifts to the right people and some people are not. Likewise some people are easy to buy gifts for and some are damn near impossible. Personally I am not so good at buying people gifts but shockingly easy to buy gifts for.  Anyone who can’t work out what to buy me is seriously not a friend of mine because I am always going on about the things I like and I am clearly obsessed with all things cute/pink/black/skulls/blingy. Of course not all people are as easy to shop for as I am and have more elusive tastes so you need to do a little bit of detective work in order to find the perfect present for them (or at the very least, a decent one that they won’t resent you for buying them). Especially if, like me, you’re totally crap at buying people presents.

Ask questions! Do not go about guessing because you will more than likely get it WRONG. Whether you ask the recipient themselves of ask the people who know them best, try and get some hints as to what they want. You might be lucky and find out they’ve given their mum or partner a list of things they’d like and so you can work out what to get with the greatest of ease (make sure you don’t double up with whoever has the list as that’ll look pretty bad for you both). If there’s no magical list to save the day then you need to keep asking questions and possibly spend an afternoon shopping with them to see if they point anything out. Obviously it’s best to be as subtle as possible about what you’re up to in order to surprise them when you give your present but with some people that might not be possible and you might have to start being direct and ask them “What would you like for Christmas?”.

What about giving gifts that the recipient already knows about? Is this a bad thing? Personally, I do not think so. But it does depend on the person and the circumstances. In most cases it is better to tell your boyfriend/husband/male relative exactly what you want because a) they don’t take hints very well and b) they’re usually shithouse at buying presents, especially for females. Guys, I am sorry to tell you this, but you SUCK at buying presents for girls. There are a few of you out there who take hints, listen and end up getting fabulous presents that please the lady in your life. But that is rare. Listen up, because this is important: “The thought that counts” is a load of crap. Because if you buy the special girl in our life something she has NO interest in and expect that crap to fly then you’re a jerk and deserve to have your sorry arse dumped (or get the silent-treatment at the very least). Either take note of her hints, get her to write out a wish list or else get her to tell you exactly what she wants because chances are she doesn’t want red lingerie or a hot dog maker (I know a guy who got one of these for his girlfriend once, based on the fact she enjoys the occasional hot dog, she wasn’t happy. Totally hilarious but so WRONG). Also, do not try and get all creative. If a certain type of perfume is listed, don’t compromise and buy a Britney Spears’ perfume because it was cheaper or the sales lady suggested it or because you forgot the list because she will not be happy (this happened to a friend of mine recently, she was NOT happy AT ALL).

And lastly, be careful about who you buy practical gifts for. For example, if you bought me a “practical” gift like a wok or a toaster, I would probably throw it at your head. Not everyone likes practicality, particularly not in the place of presents. Presents should be fun in most cases, so why take away all the fun by giving them something dreadfully mundane like kitchen utensils or socks. Even if the person you are buying a present for has mentioned their toaster died, don’t go buying them a new one for Christmas. Firstly that is BORING, secondly it’s really none of your damn business, and thirdly you might end up buying them a replacement they don’t really want that doesn’t do what they want or doesn’t suit their decor. Unless you find a toaster that screams their name (ie. if someone saw a diamante-encrusted, pink Hello Kitty toaster that made my toast pink and Hello Kitty shaped then I’d be outraged if you didn’t buy it for me) then forget about it. Work a bit harder and find out what frivolous, fun thing they’re eying off and get that instead. After all, if they really needed that “practical” thing so badly then they probably would have already bought it themselves by now.

I hope this helps! I have used my own advice and so far my crappy gift-giving skills have remained a virtual secret to most people, simply because I was sneaky, asked questions and gave it lots of thought. Don’t be one of those people who everyone dreads a gift from because you’re too slack to put in a little hard work! It ain’t that hard and you will be richly rewarded for your efforts!

All About Boobs

(Photo by Melissa Maples)

Boobs are amazing wonderful things. You don’t need to be a heterosexual male to appreciate the wonder that is the female breast. But so many girls don’t treat their assets properly! Apparently it is estimated around 80% of women worldwide wear the wrong sized bra. It’s a very important part of our wardrobe, even if it’s almost always totally covered up, so why do so many women get it wrong? Do these women who wear the wrong sized bra also wear the wrong sized underwear? Probably not, because undies that are too tight/too baggy are uncomfortable and we wouldn’t stand for it. So why do women put up with bra’s that are the wrong size?

I wore the wrong sized bra for years. In fact, from the time I started wearing under wire bra’s, I was wearing the wrong size and I had no idea whatsoever! For years I wore a 12C bra thinking that was my size and never questioning it. I don’t know why I picked that size but I did and I stuck to it, without even considering for a moment that I might have picked the wrong size from the get-go and was doing myself damage (a badly fitting bra can actually have health consequences, including back and neck pains!) and also, as it turns out, not doing myself any favours.

See, about a year and a half ago I went an got a bra fitting, and holy shit, it changed my life! Turns out I was NOT a 12C but as 10DD which means I was WAY off. I was wearing bra’s that were too big around my back and too small in the cups. I also quickly discovered that by wearing a 12C I was making my boobs looks about 2/3 of their actual size! Travesty! My little sister who is also well-endowed in the boob-region was fitted as a 10DD a few years ago and was devastated at the time as all the bra’s for that size were ugly and were designed to minimise the chest. Umm, what? I have 10DD boobs sucker, and I am PROUD of them! Luckily bra designers worked this out and there are so amazing bra’s out there that enhance and lift your mammaries instead of flattening them out and covering them up with daggy lace. Personally I swear by water bra’s – they have water pockets in the cups that give the most incredible cleavage while also providing good support.

I am no expert at working out what size fits you best, so I suggest you GO GET PROPERLY FITTED! If you’re too lazy or maybe too shy, then there are many great sites around the internet to help you out or at least convince you that a bra fitting is the way to go. It’s probably going to mean a few things though, which you should be aware of. You’re more than likely wearing the wrong size and so will need to buy new bra’s. DO SO! It will be the best thing you have ever, ever done for your body. If you have fairly large boobs, you will probably have to stop shopping at cheap department stores for your bra’s. Unfortunately for us big-boobed girls they still do not realise that the average Australian breast is a lot bigger than what sizes they regularly stock so if you find you’re something like a 10DD then you will NOT find any bra’s at Target or K-Mart (believe me I have tried). This means going to places like Bra’s n Things (my favorite bra shop, also where I got fitted) and spending around $50 per bra. It seems steep but we’re not talking about track pants here, these are vital pieces of clothing that can not only look good but also serve a very important purpose!

Random Thoughts – Being Nice, Boys & Girls & Healthiness

I often have huge big, meaningful thoughts about important matters that I feel I should share but rarely get to. Usually this happens while I am doing boring things like showering, putting on makeup, cleaning the house or buying groceries so I don’t have anyone to talk to them about (and my poor goldfish memory causes me to forget about them when I see  friends, but my excellent long-term memory remembers them many days later). Well, I guess that’s why I have a blog!

• Being nice gets you everywhere. This should be common sense but a lot of people think that being nice just means you get screwed over and so it’s the arseholes who get everything their way. This can be true in some cases, after all it is the nasty customer who kicks up a stink who gets free stuff while the nice one who doesn’t say a word gets nothing at all. But it’s not always true, not by a long shot. I find that being polite and super nice where appropriate gets you a very long way. I’m always trying to be as nice as possible when dealing with strangers (when not overwhelmed with shyness, of course) and I’m always getting loveliness in return and in some cases I have received free stuff! I’ve had cranky people cheer up after being nice to them, and I’ve been cheered up myself when feeling moody by other cheerful people. And there’s nothing better than the feeling of knowing you were super nice to someone and possibly made their day brighter as a result!
• “Guys and girls can’t be friends” is such a broad statement and many people can attest to the fact this is not always true. I’d like to see it changed to “Guys can’t be friends with girls”. OK so that’s pretty broad too but I find this is the case most of the time. Girls have no problems being friend with guys, rarely do they become friendly with guys to get closer to them with the hopes of going out with or sleeping with them nor do they find themselves wanting to shag their guy-friends after being friends with them for a while. In my experience guys struggle with this. It’s as though they can’t physically have a friendship with a girl without ending up wanting to shag them at some stage, often from the get go (though I am told the exception is when the girl is ugly though I bet that’s not always true). I have had this happen to me many times – I am friends with a guy and I think all is swell and totally platonic but then I get a rude shock when it is revealed they have some sort of crush on me. And all I ever did was be a nice person to them! I’ve even had it happen with guys who I am a total bitch to! It’s a great shame because I enjoy having guys as friends. There’s nit much you can do though, one of my dearest friends was very straightforward when we first met in telling me he liked me, so I honestly told him I wasn’t interested in anything more than a friendship and so we became close friends and we’ve never looked back! If you find out a male friend likes you more than as a friend, be honest and upfront. Don’t “give it a go” to spare his feelings because you’ll probably end up losing a good friendship as a result when you break up later on down the track.
• Being healthy is EXPENSIVE & HARD! I’ve always been a yo-yo dieter which we all know is BAD so now I am on a general health kick which means healthy eating, lots of exercise and not beating myself up if ever I have a binge or decide to skip the gym one evening. It doesn’t mean I am shedding lots of weight quickly, but I am now really fit and feeling healthier than I ever have in my life. Hopefully the weight will fall off in its own time, but as long as I am healthy then I’m happy enough. But god it’s hard! No wonder people are so fat these days. After a week in Japan I noticed just how fat Australians are – when we get fat we get FAT! And no wonder! Fatty foods are cheap, convenient and more appealing. Healthy foods cost much more, they’re harder to find because half of what you think is healthy ain’t healthy at all, it’s slow and sure as hell don’t smell as good as pizza or KFC! I get so angry when non-fat people say comments about fat people needing to “just stop eating crap” because it’s not at all that easy! If I could get drive through salad (that’s not that nasty shit Macca’s tries to call a salad) that was the same price as a burger meal and tasted really good and was really good for you and not full of nasty, fatty surprises then man, we’d all be a lot slimmer! I spend at least twice more on groceries than my housemates simply because I eat healthy. SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE!

OK that’s all my random thoughts for today. I am sure there will be many more to come!

Getting a Brazilian

In case the picture didn’t make it clear, I am indeed talking about the brazilian wax. I have been getting brazilian’s done for a few years now and I find people still have this weird idea of what a brazilian wax is all about. Yes, all the hair goes. No, you don’t leave a “landing” strip of hair (I don’t know anyone who ever has and I wonder why you’d bother). Yes it does hurt, but it’s bearable. I got one done today which was one of the best ones I have ever had. My last experience was horrendous because the girl who did it was rough, did it far too quickly and only use wax strips. Plus she left lots of stray hairs which was highly unprofessional of her. I left the salon with a burning box and a little extra money in my purse because it was very cheap. Which is probably why it was so bad, come to think of it. So for anyone who’s unfamiliar with brazilian waxes, here are my tips for getting the most out of the experience:

• Don’t kid yourself, it does hurt. But if done properly it’s not a terrible pain and apart from the middle strip (which hurts like a mofo) it’s not all that bad. Wax strips hurt the most but they’re quicker and grab more hairs. Hot wax hardly hurts at all but they have to go over the same spot a couple of times to get all the hairs. Wax strips are typically used on the less sensitive areas while hot wax is used where it’s very tender (eg. closer to your lady bits). Be wary of places that only use strips because it hurts and is bad for the ultra-sensitive areas.
• Don’t got for cheap. I’ve made that mistake a few times and always regret it. It’s like most things, cheaper alternatives are usually the shittier alternatives. The wax I got last was $35 and was painful and not done properly. The one I got today was $65 (though the prices goes down if you go back there every 6-8 weeks) and was barely painful, beautifully done and had impeccable service. Making sure you get waxed every 6-8 weeks is what keeps the cost down too – I always leave mine much longer so it’s like starting all over again every time I go. I really must stop that…
• Find a good beauty therapist and stick with them! I had the best girl do mine for years, until one day she was gone and I couldn’t track her down. She used nothing but hot wax and spent the whole time having great conversations with me. She wasn’t cheap or fast but she did an amazing job and I loved visiting her. When she disappeared  was lost! I went to Brazilian Beauty today which a friend recommended to me and I will keep going there. The girl I had today was lovely and did an awesome job, as I have said many times now. If you find someone who does a good job, stick with them. That was you have less to dread before each visit because they’re a familiar face who knows what you get done and won’t disappoint you.
• Be aware that any waxing down there is a fairly embarrassing experience. You’re lying on a table with your legs spread and nothing to hide your shame from a total stranger. If ever I’m feeling especially embarrassed, I remind myself that they do this for a living and have seen it all and would have seen a LOT worse than me. Can you imagine the horror stories those beauty therapists have to tell? You can be damn sure you wouldn’t even register on their list of terrible clients.
• STOP SHAVING! I fall into the “oh I’ll just shave this time” trap all the time even though I know how BAD it is. Despite popular belief your hairs don’t grow back thicker (on any part of your body), but shaving makes the end of the hairs bunt and therefore seem coarser. Shaving also causes lots of ingrown hairs and can also wreck the way the hairs grow which means it’s going to hurt more next time you do get a wax (I know this from lots of experience). But most importantly, shaving only gets rid of the hair for a day or two before you get nasty, itchy stubble that is almost unbearable for those initial days of growing out. Then you have to wait another 6 weeks before you can go get it waxed. It’s never worth it.
• I don’t do after-care because I am really slack. here are a lot of good products out there, but I don’t know anything about them. There are moisturisers that help minimise ingrowns and slow down regrowth but I’m a scrooge and am never willing to fork out the money for it. If anyone has opinions or recommendations on after-care, please let me know!

So what are the benefits of waxing it all off down there? Personally I think it looks better, but that is my personal taste. I don’t think it makes me look like a prepubescent girl because I’m clearly NOT a ten year old and do not think that having hair down there makes me look more “grown up”, so you have my permission to punch anyone who suggests that to you. Pubic hair apparently has a purpose, or so some doctors say. But this is an era where we all clean down there frequently and wear clothing that protects our genitals from the outside elements, and I do not see why we need pubes this day and age. I feel a lot cleaner without the short-and-curlies and it’s generally just a nicer feeling to be bare down there. Everyone’s different though, so get whatever makes you feel good. I started off with just regular g-string waxes which leaves a decent amount of hair before I moved on to the brazilian, so I suggest doing that for your first couple of times if you’re not sure what you want. But I’m telling you now, one you go brazilian you never go…back… Or something like that.

Accept this!

Tonight I read a few blogs by people I admire, dealing with the idea of not being accepted by friends, family, the general public etc. The letters on Doe Deere Blogazine really affected me because of how these poor girls feel inferior because they choose to dress differently to most other people. Their experiences, where they’re publicly humiliated in front of their school, or have random strangers shout things and even have their own mum’s not “getting it” devastates me. I’ve been quite different all of my life. In high school when all the girl were showing off their newly developed boobs (which I had since grade 5, so like, whatever) in tight tops, I favoured baggy band t-shirts and shorts with skate shoes. In Uni I liked to wear fitted t-shirts and baggy shorts, all of which matched in colour. More recently I am completely obsessed with pink and black and wear only the most over-the-top outfits I have, usually involving tutu’s and other unusual accessories.

The thing is though, I’ve never experienced any sort of negative feedback for how I dress. Luckily for me, my mum encouraged dressing differently and now delights in the fact I wear eccentric outfits that almost always turns heads wherever I go. I’ve also grown up with friends who enjoyed different fashion styles to the norm, so I always had backup in one way or another. So to hear about people who probably don’t dress anything near as over-the-top as I do who go through hell about what they choose to wear…well, it breaks my heart! I can’t even imagine worrying about whether or not people will say nasty stuff to/about me by wearing one of my regular outfits out in public. I mean sure, some people might make nasty comments behind my back but I don’t hear them and therefore they don’t technically exist to me. I just don’t know how I would react if ever someone made a nasty comment about my choice of clothing to my face or loud enough for me to hear them. Probably very badly, so I just hope I never have to go through something like that.

I’ve always been an advocate of being who you want to be, screw the consequences or the people who don’t like it. But I guess when it comes to being harassed about it, particularly to the point where you worry about your own safety, then something’s got to give. Depending on your situation you may need to make some compromises, particularly if you’re young and live with your parents, which isn’t ideal but for your own well-being you have to do whatever helps you get by. It may mean toning things down day-to-day and finding other outlets for your self-expression. If/when you’re able to, move somewhere more open-minded! Being stuck somewhere that’s filled with narrow-minded jerks will never work out for anyone a little bit different, so get the hell out! If it’s someone like a family member or even your own friends who are giving you a hard time though, you have to be strong. Tell them that they can either suck it up and accept you for who you are or get lost. I am certain very few people are going to be shallow enough to disown a relative or a friend simple because of how they dress. Take a stand, be brave and be proud of who you are! This is your life and damn all who don’t agree with your choices!

Now I think about it, this goes for anything really, not just irregular fashion choices. Be you gay, extremely tattooed, have an unusual haircut or a love of anything not-normal. Never take someone’s lack of respect, intelligence or acceptance to heart. Be whoever the hell you want to be and be proud that you’re a much better person because you don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks about you! Life is too short and being “normal” much too boring!

How to Survive the Caxton St Seafood Festival

After making the effort to go to the Caxton Street Seafood & Wine festival last year, I vowed not to go again this year. But a combination of a friend who’s new to Brisbane and free tickets was what convinced me to give it another go. This guide applies to just about every street party/festival that’s fueled by specialty food and excessive alcohol consumption, not just this annual event.

• Dress comfortably! This is not the place to wear anything too revealing or your new high heels. It’s crowded and on a street in Brisbane city, which means uneven footpaths, unexpected gutters, rubbish everywhere and rowdy people who have no manners. Chances are your heel will break or you’ll twist an ankle when you stumble on uneven ground. And once the night wears on, anything you wear that shows anything more than a little bit of cleveage or leg will get your harassed or groped once the sun goes down.
• Make sure you’re tolerance levels are at their peak. Guaranteed 90% of the people attending will be the types of people that you never normally deal with or even pretend to tolerate. We’re talking bogans of every type, families with kids who are tired and grumpy from all the excitement, girls who wear high heels regardless of any good advice and break your toes when they stamp on your feet in the crowds, kids who just hit 18 and are out to PAR-TAY etc. Aside from some of the friends you bump into, most of these people are not the types of people you want to spend any times with. And you better believe they’re gonna get in your face! So make sure to be tolerant and try to smile and go with it. No one likes a party-pooper, especially at a huge street party!
• Make sure you’re cashed up. Drinks are expensive and not too easy to come by. If you don’t have much cash (like I was this year AND last year, as it turns out) then have a few pre-drinks because you’re probably going to need a decent amount of booze to deal with the crowds, and $50 is not going to get you very far at all.
• Take cash and cigarettes with you. Unless you’re keen to wait in a line ffor an ATM for 45 mins plus, you should have all your cash withdrawn in advance. If you smoke, get a packet or two in advance because you’ll have nowhere else to buy them but the expensive machines at the pubs. It’s also likely that both ATMs and cigarette machines will run out by the end of the day/night.
• Find a good spot and stay there. Once you’ve done your wandering, you’re best off finding a spot that’s not too busy, has a bar nearby and (if you have smoker friends) has a smoking area nearby. The street becomes chaotic pretty early on, but nowhere near as bad as when the sun starts to set and people are well and truly wasted. If you find a good spot, claim it and enjoy it for as long as possible. If you’re lucky it’ll even have good music (in our case it was pub rock which was horrifying at first, but as we drank more it was kind of fun). If you can find a place with decent toilets then you’re clearly better at this than I!
• Leave earlier rather than later. Hanging around for the sake of hanging around means you will just get shittier as every minute passes and all your hard work at getting drunk and being tolerant will fly out the proverbial window. If the party starts to drag, get the hell outta there! Parties are only ever good when you leave on a good note so don’t stick around without good reason.

There are many more tips I could give you, but these are the main ones that will get you by. By skipping these steps you run the risk of having a terrible time. This festival is very hit and miss and usually tends to disappoint more than it engages. It’s a highlight on the social calendar of Brisbane but you must be prepared if you’re going to enjoy it in any way. Chances are you won’t enjoy it much anyway but it’s a bit of generally harmless fun and should be experienced at least once in your lifetime!

(The worse example of a street festival is the Notting Hill Carnivale in London. Holy shit was that intense. Fun, but very very full on. I’d like to go without a recently done tattoo though…man was I hurting by the end of the day)