What I Love About Myself

There is a meme-type thing going around the blogs of various Aussie girls right now which I found really inspiring and really quite lovely. I found it first at Definatalie.com. People are too obsessed with perfection, myself included. It’s not something I think I could probably ever change about myself, I’m 26 years old now and learning to love myself totally despite my flaws and consider myself wonderful as I am is not something that just happens and would require a tonne of work and a lot more confidence/motivation that I could ever posses.

That doesn’t mean I can’t still love myself as much as possible anyway, right? I am not at all perfect, I am a mixture of things that make me just about as imperfect as possible (many of which are a result of my own conscious choices) but in a way that’s what makes me perfect in my own special way! So, here are the things I love about myself:

• My face. I’m not going to be all modest and lame about it, I have a pretty face and I love it very much. I like the fact my face lights up when I smile and I can do sultry so, so easily. I have amazing eyes and my lips are the best shape. My skin is very clear these days which is a very big deal for me.
• My boobs. I’m probably one of the few girls out there who loves having 10DD boobs. I thought I was a 12C for years, and after getting properly fitted I am now such a sexy-sounding size and my boobs look twice their size just by changing bra sizes!
• My tattoos. This is why differentiates me from most people. Not just the fact I have tattoos, but the fact I am a pretty, girly-girl with lots of visible tattoos that mean a lot to me (while also looking totally cool). I get tattoos to decorate my skin, not to conform to a fashion trend of to be rebellious, they’re for me and me only!
• My style. I think my style kicks arse and I defy anyone to disagree. I love pink and black so much that I wear little else. By having an almost exclusively pink and black wardrobe, I am always colour-coordinated and always manage stand out in a crowd. I haven’t met a girl yet who doesn’t love the idea of being able to wear tutu’s almost every single day like I do!
• My height. Sometimes I feel like I’m too tall, but I always remind myself how I can always see bands at gigs, how I can always reach the top shelf, how I tower above everyone when wearing heels and how being really tall means I look slimmer than I actually am! Booyeah!
• I am very open-minded about everything. There’s nothing out there that could surprise or disgust me. I eat pretty much all foods, I listen to a HUGE range of music, I think same-sex marriage is tops, I couldn’t care less what your religion is (unless you get all up in my face about atheist, anyway), I condone drinking and recreational drug use and I love porn. If you’re a narrow-minded bigot then that’s your problem, keep away from me and I won’t bother you.
• I’m super nice! Sure I like to pretend I’m all tuff and moody and too-cool-for-school but anyone who knows me for more than 10 minutes knows I’m a bucket of sunshine and rainbow unicorn poop. It’s hard for me to dislike anyone, you have to be a total douchebag for me to not like you, and a total and utter cunt for me to hate you.

I could go on with this all day. It makes me wonder why I get down on myself. Sure I could stand to lose a few kilo’s and I do have a number of faults, but the things that make me a good person far outweigh any of the negative things I can come up with. Sometimes I need to remind myself of these excellent features of mine when feeling down in the dumps, because I am a neat sorta person, really!

Getting a Brazilian

In case the picture didn’t make it clear, I am indeed talking about the brazilian wax. I have been getting brazilian’s done for a few years now and I find people still have this weird idea of what a brazilian wax is all about. Yes, all the hair goes. No, you don’t leave a “landing” strip of hair (I don’t know anyone who ever has and I wonder why you’d bother). Yes it does hurt, but it’s bearable. I got one done today which was one of the best ones I have ever had. My last experience was horrendous because the girl who did it was rough, did it far too quickly and only use wax strips. Plus she left lots of stray hairs which was highly unprofessional of her. I left the salon with a burning box and a little extra money in my purse because it was very cheap. Which is probably why it was so bad, come to think of it. So for anyone who’s unfamiliar with brazilian waxes, here are my tips for getting the most out of the experience:

• Don’t kid yourself, it does hurt. But if done properly it’s not a terrible pain and apart from the middle strip (which hurts like a mofo) it’s not all that bad. Wax strips hurt the most but they’re quicker and grab more hairs. Hot wax hardly hurts at all but they have to go over the same spot a couple of times to get all the hairs. Wax strips are typically used on the less sensitive areas while hot wax is used where it’s very tender (eg. closer to your lady bits). Be wary of places that only use strips because it hurts and is bad for the ultra-sensitive areas.
• Don’t got for cheap. I’ve made that mistake a few times and always regret it. It’s like most things, cheaper alternatives are usually the shittier alternatives. The wax I got last was $35 and was painful and not done properly. The one I got today was $65 (though the prices goes down if you go back there every 6-8 weeks) and was barely painful, beautifully done and had impeccable service. Making sure you get waxed every 6-8 weeks is what keeps the cost down too – I always leave mine much longer so it’s like starting all over again every time I go. I really must stop that…
• Find a good beauty therapist and stick with them! I had the best girl do mine for years, until one day she was gone and I couldn’t track her down. She used nothing but hot wax and spent the whole time having great conversations with me. She wasn’t cheap or fast but she did an amazing job and I loved visiting her. When she disappeared  was lost! I went to Brazilian Beauty today which a friend recommended to me and I will keep going there. The girl I had today was lovely and did an awesome job, as I have said many times now. If you find someone who does a good job, stick with them. That was you have less to dread before each visit because they’re a familiar face who knows what you get done and won’t disappoint you.
• Be aware that any waxing down there is a fairly embarrassing experience. You’re lying on a table with your legs spread and nothing to hide your shame from a total stranger. If ever I’m feeling especially embarrassed, I remind myself that they do this for a living and have seen it all and would have seen a LOT worse than me. Can you imagine the horror stories those beauty therapists have to tell? You can be damn sure you wouldn’t even register on their list of terrible clients.
• STOP SHAVING! I fall into the “oh I’ll just shave this time” trap all the time even though I know how BAD it is. Despite popular belief your hairs don’t grow back thicker (on any part of your body), but shaving makes the end of the hairs bunt and therefore seem coarser. Shaving also causes lots of ingrown hairs and can also wreck the way the hairs grow which means it’s going to hurt more next time you do get a wax (I know this from lots of experience). But most importantly, shaving only gets rid of the hair for a day or two before you get nasty, itchy stubble that is almost unbearable for those initial days of growing out. Then you have to wait another 6 weeks before you can go get it waxed. It’s never worth it.
• I don’t do after-care because I am really slack. here are a lot of good products out there, but I don’t know anything about them. There are moisturisers that help minimise ingrowns and slow down regrowth but I’m a scrooge and am never willing to fork out the money for it. If anyone has opinions or recommendations on after-care, please let me know!

So what are the benefits of waxing it all off down there? Personally I think it looks better, but that is my personal taste. I don’t think it makes me look like a prepubescent girl because I’m clearly NOT a ten year old and do not think that having hair down there makes me look more “grown up”, so you have my permission to punch anyone who suggests that to you. Pubic hair apparently has a purpose, or so some doctors say. But this is an era where we all clean down there frequently and wear clothing that protects our genitals from the outside elements, and I do not see why we need pubes this day and age. I feel a lot cleaner without the short-and-curlies and it’s generally just a nicer feeling to be bare down there. Everyone’s different though, so get whatever makes you feel good. I started off with just regular g-string waxes which leaves a decent amount of hair before I moved on to the brazilian, so I suggest doing that for your first couple of times if you’re not sure what you want. But I’m telling you now, one you go brazilian you never go…back… Or something like that.

Accept this!

Tonight I read a few blogs by people I admire, dealing with the idea of not being accepted by friends, family, the general public etc. The letters on Doe Deere Blogazine really affected me because of how these poor girls feel inferior because they choose to dress differently to most other people. Their experiences, where they’re publicly humiliated in front of their school, or have random strangers shout things and even have their own mum’s not “getting it” devastates me. I’ve been quite different all of my life. In high school when all the girl were showing off their newly developed boobs (which I had since grade 5, so like, whatever) in tight tops, I favoured baggy band t-shirts and shorts with skate shoes. In Uni I liked to wear fitted t-shirts and baggy shorts, all of which matched in colour. More recently I am completely obsessed with pink and black and wear only the most over-the-top outfits I have, usually involving tutu’s and other unusual accessories.

The thing is though, I’ve never experienced any sort of negative feedback for how I dress. Luckily for me, my mum encouraged dressing differently and now delights in the fact I wear eccentric outfits that almost always turns heads wherever I go. I’ve also grown up with friends who enjoyed different fashion styles to the norm, so I always had backup in one way or another. So to hear about people who probably don’t dress anything near as over-the-top as I do who go through hell about what they choose to wear…well, it breaks my heart! I can’t even imagine worrying about whether or not people will say nasty stuff to/about me by wearing one of my regular outfits out in public. I mean sure, some people might make nasty comments behind my back but I don’t hear them and therefore they don’t technically exist to me. I just don’t know how I would react if ever someone made a nasty comment about my choice of clothing to my face or loud enough for me to hear them. Probably very badly, so I just hope I never have to go through something like that.

I’ve always been an advocate of being who you want to be, screw the consequences or the people who don’t like it. But I guess when it comes to being harassed about it, particularly to the point where you worry about your own safety, then something’s got to give. Depending on your situation you may need to make some compromises, particularly if you’re young and live with your parents, which isn’t ideal but for your own well-being you have to do whatever helps you get by. It may mean toning things down day-to-day and finding other outlets for your self-expression. If/when you’re able to, move somewhere more open-minded! Being stuck somewhere that’s filled with narrow-minded jerks will never work out for anyone a little bit different, so get the hell out! If it’s someone like a family member or even your own friends who are giving you a hard time though, you have to be strong. Tell them that they can either suck it up and accept you for who you are or get lost. I am certain very few people are going to be shallow enough to disown a relative or a friend simple because of how they dress. Take a stand, be brave and be proud of who you are! This is your life and damn all who don’t agree with your choices!

Now I think about it, this goes for anything really, not just irregular fashion choices. Be you gay, extremely tattooed, have an unusual haircut or a love of anything not-normal. Never take someone’s lack of respect, intelligence or acceptance to heart. Be whoever the hell you want to be and be proud that you’re a much better person because you don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks about you! Life is too short and being “normal” much too boring!

Family ties

Families are funny things. They range from wonderful to totally shit and cover everything in between. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who has a pretty good family. Not the best, by any means, but I still love them dearly. Unfortunately for a lot of people, their families are less than ideal. I have a few friends who have parents or siblings they can’t stand, or families who can’t stand the individual. It always worries and confuses the hell out of me when I hear about someone who has been disowned by their family, or have disowned a family member themselves. Up until very recently I thought it was the worst thing in the world. How could anyone want nothing to do with a member of their own family??? Sure, nobody’s perfect, but they’re your own flesh and blood! Surely differences can be resolved when it comes to family? Forgiveness is easy when you’re talking about someone form your bloodline! Whenever I heard a tale of someone deciding not to talk to a family member (or even their whole family) ever again I think they’re being silly and will surely get over it soon because no one can stay mad at family forever, right?!

Like I said, I’m lucky and have a really good family. I once thought my mum would disown me if I got tattoo. When I said this to her, she laughed and said that she could never disown me, especially not for something as trivial as a tattoo. My little sister used to be a pain in the arse growing up, a real little terror. Tantrums to get her way (which usually worked), bad behaviour to get attention, lies to get herself out of trouble and so on. Yet despite all the hell she put us through, we don’t resent her or wish she’d been any different. Sure, life would have been a lot quieter, but nowhere near as interesting. My family isn’t perfect but they are who they are and I’m glad I have them.

So it came as a real shock when I realised recently that it was time for me to cease contact with a family member myself. It was a long time coming I guess, but still a shock when I came to the realisation. My parents split up a few years back, after my dad had a total mid-life-crisis. It was all right at first, we had a family business which my parents still ran together. He moved out and they just worked together from the family home. It wasn’t great but it wasn’t that bad either. Then my dad started turning really nasty against my mum and it all went rapidly downhill from there. The last year or so was the worst, my ever-quiet father was suddenly becoming an ogre who cared for no one but himself. So when they finally parted ways it suddenly dawned on me that this wasn’t the man I knew, he was my father still of course, but I really didn’t know him any more. So after his final bout of nastiness I decided I didn’t need to keep him in my life, and was only doing so because he was family, my dad. I wanted to put up with him, I really did, but neither of us were going to benefit from continued contact, so I finally told him that was it, I didn’t want any more to do with him.

I now realise that sometimes it is necessary to rid yourself of the people who do nothing for you, even it means you have to do this to a family member. It hurt like hell but it had to be done, and I guess it’s just a necessary part of growing up. It’s also not something to take lightly, you can’t go disowning your family because they gave you the shits one day and you’re in a temper about it. It’s about making a decision that you know is right, no matter how painful it might end up being (for your or the person you’ve decided you want to let go) and going through with it. It doesn’t have to be forever either. Time does heal most wounds, so maybe in a few years time you can forgive them and make amends with them. I remain positive that down the track my dad will understand why I made my decision and try to make amends with me. Only time will tell.

I'm shy, not a bitch!

I am horrendously, painfully shy. Always have been and always will. People who know me find this very hard to believe because I can very loud and even “in your face” at times. But that’s only to the people I know really well and even then it’s only an occasional thing as I can still get an attack of the “shy’s” even with people I know really well. With people I don’t know too well (ie. most of my workmates) I find it really hard to initiate conversations and in many cases, even say hello in the mornings. As a result I get accused of being a rude, stuck-up bitch all the time, which hurts because I know I’m not stuck-up or a bitch at all, it’s just really, really hard to talk to people I don’t know very well. Luckily I’ve been able to explain this to the workmates who’ve questioned me about it so no one takes being snubbed by me to heart, but there are all those times where I meet new people that I know I come across as really rude when in reality I’m terrified at the prospect at having to talk to a stranger!

I try not to let this rule my life, as many shy people tend to do. Life is too short to tremble in fear whenever someone I don’t know starts talking to me. I also have to talk to strangers on the phone all the time, it’s part of my job, so I can’t let it consume me. I do find it hard to chit-chat to my clients though as most of my co-workers do, but it apparently makes me seem very efficient so I use this to my advantage. I also hate knowing I give a bad first impression to people when I meet them for the first time which isn’t at all a true reflection of the person I really am.

So what do I do to get over this crippling shyness? To be honest, I try to suck it up for the most part. I know it’s a problem and I accept it and try to get over it to the best of my ability. I’m constantly talking to myself, reminding myself that this person doesn’t know how shy I am and therefore I don’t want them getting the wrong impression, so I do all I can to blast past the fear of talking to a stranger and be as polite as possible. I also remind myself that I don’t have anything to fear from talking to strangers – most of them are good people and it’s not like they’re going to shoot me for saying the wrong thing. The only problem with this though is that I’m usually so busy trying to pep myself up that I end up not being able to think of anything to say and so I look kind of dumb. But hey, looking a bit dumb is better than coming across as a bitch, right?

There’s nothing anyone can do if they’re excessively shy, except to just try to overcome it as much as possible and fool people into thinking you’re the aloof, mysterious type (I work this to my advantage all the time, though many people still tend to think I’m just being a stuck-up cow which kind of sucks). If someone’s first impression of you is that you’re stuck-up, hope that you’ll meet again and can prove otherwise. I have won over a lot of people by seeming rude after the first meeting but then turning out to be really quite nice after an actual conversation. And if you give the wrong impression to someone you never meet again, no sense stressing about it, instead just hope they were one of the smart few who took it as being aloof and mysterious!

My first hypnotherapy session

I had my first hypnotherapy session tonight. It wasn’t quite as I expected but still really good. I was surprised by how aware and focused I was throughout, I could hear everything the hypnotherapist was saying and yet I was in a deep state of relaxation. It was kind of uncanny actually, nothing like the movies or what you see on TV. It wasn’t a case of me nodding off to sleep when he clicked his fingers, and I didn’t snap out of it when he clapped his hands, wondering where the hell I was. I have a CD of this session which will help me hypnotise myself at home (as he explained it, hypnosis is self-done as it is you who listens to the “suggestions” the hypnotist makes and it’s up to you if you want to oblige).

Personally I am going because of my obsession with food. I could eat an eat until I explode, and then eat some more. I feel like I need to eat the moment I am doing certain things like watching TV, going to the movies, sitting at my computer (home or work) or whenever I’m not doing something with my hands. I also have this problem where my mind blocks out a lot of what I eat, especially the bad stuff. So at the end of the day I’ll think I ate really well and then I’ll suddenly remember all the fatty and sugary snacks I had during the day at work. Often I’ll start snacking regardless of a lack of hunger, and half way through or right after I will realise what I did and have the worst eaters remorse. If I was able to make myself throw up I’d surely have bulimia. If I didn’t go to the gym as often as I do, god knows how I would be. I’d be fat as a house, I guess.

It’s a psychological issue of mine, and willpower alone is not enough. My hypnotherapist actually said to me that willpower alone usually won’t cut it for most people – we have routines and habits stuck in our subconscious minds and they’re not biased, they do what they know and your conscious mind is virtually useless to stop it. Hypnotherapy is meant to teach your subconscious to stop its bad habits and learn new, better ones, the ones we have know consciously but struggle so much with because it goes against what we have ingrained in out subconsciousness.

I’m going back for a couple more sessions over the next few weeks, so I’ll keep you all posted. I have high hopes for this, so fingers crossed this changes my mentality about my eating habits!

Weekly Wrap 25/05/2009

***

Given my appalling couple of weeks, I figured it’d be nice to wrap up my week – just the nice stuff that happened and have stuck in my mind.

Spending lots of time with my mum and getting stuff done / Doing a lot of exercise and feeling like a million dollars afterwards / Changing my eating habits and losing a few kg’s as a result / Seeing real-life macaws and hundreds of wild kangaroos on a unexpected bus trip home / An unplanned day off work that did me wonders / Fantastic news after a lot of bad / A bunch of flowers greeting me at work / Finding money while cleaning and having an amazing meal and seeing a film for FREE as a result / Excessive tea consumption / Silver platforms / Delicious perfume on sale / Finding amazing false lashes and nail decals for CHEAP / New Livejournal layouts that suit me far too well / Magners Cider / Singing bad pop music as loud as I can at work (without getting into trouble) / Anticipating my first ever hypnotherapy session…

This week is going to be so much better. I have a few interesting things to look forward to, like my first ever hypnotherapy sessions. I’m getting it to help my food-obsession, but I’m mostly excited about the whole idea of it, a friend got it done recently and said the experience was unbelievable, plus it worked! I’m going to something called a “Leadership Breakfast” through work on Thursday morning which sounds a little bit fancy and totally delicious. My mum got her loan approved which means she can move into her new house and not stress so much! This was what caused at least 40% of my stress lately so it’s a HUGE relief for us both.

I hope everyone else is having a good week too :)

Case of the Flake People

There’s a party on tonight, hosted by a good friend who’s been going on and on about it for the last few weeks. It’s not for a couple of hours yet but you’re really don’t feel like going, maybe you’re feeling a bit sick or just lazy, but basically going is the last thing you really feel like doing. So what do you do? More than likely you probably make up some elaborate excuse so you don’t seem like a jerk who just couldn’t be arsed going, right?

I saw an article about this a while ago and it struck me as being something we all do all the time without any thought about its effects and how detrimental it’s being to ourselves as well as the people around us. Why is it that people just can’t be bothered turning up to the things they said they were really keen to go to. And why must we creat all these massive stories to excuse the fact we just decided to flake out. Whatever happened to honoring your RSVP or being honest when it comes down to why you’ve decide to be a no-show. And in some cases, why do we think it’s OK to say yes to something then not follow through with it, without a simple call or sms to give a heads up?

In my experience (as someone who gets people flaking out on me a fait bit, and as someone who’s done a fair bit of flaking out myself) there are a few reasons why we do these things. For example, say you’ve been invited somewhere, like a friends BBQ but you find you’re still in bed and couldn’t be bothered getting up to go. In most cases, instead of pushing ourselves to go, we’ll find the mobile phone and send a text saying you can’t make it for whatever reason pops into your head (some classic examples include taking someone to the airport, visiting someone in hospital, family issues, being called into work etc). Personally I believe we do this for two reasons; 1) because we don’t want to look like an arsehole who’s too lazy to bother coming to something your friend asked you to; 2) we don’t want to hurt their feelings by admitting we are arseholes who are too damn lazy to make the effort to go to something they’ve asked you to. As for those who don’t even text/call to give some warning, while it’s not a very cool thing to do, I find people do this because they usually don’t think anyone would notice they didn’t turn up so don’t see the point in highlighting the fact they won’t be there. You’d be surprised how untrue that is. If a friend has personally asked you to come along to something, they will notice if you don’t turn up. Just because it’s a huge, rocking party doesn’t mean you won’t be missed, because you will be!

These days, what with just just about everyone in the world being on Facebook or other similar social networking pages, we seem to be flaking out more so than ever. It’s so very easy to “accept” an invitation when all that you have to do is click “yes” or “maybe” without really thinking about whether or not you’re going to be able to go at all. I’m constantly being spammed with event invites, and although most of them are from people I don’t even know or for events I don’t know a thing about, I always consider each one carefully so that whatever option I click I know I have been honest with my response. I know it seems kind of silly when it’s just a Facebook invite, but if you ever want to stop being a flake, it’s something you should start working on so that you can fix the problem in all aspects of your life. If you know you can’t make it to that CD launch, club night, 21st party or whatever, then say “no” and comment to say why! If you’re hovering between “yes” and “maybe” then make the decision right then and there: either you make a concerted effort to turn up or you say no. I think it’s better to say no and then randomly turn up anyway, than say yes or maybe and not turn up and be a flake.

So, in conclusion, try to be more honest with these decisions (and you know, everything in life). If you do decide to flake out, be honest and don’t come up with crazy/cliche excuses. No “visiting an obscure relitive in the hospital” or “I got called into work”, be honest and tell them you’re not up for it and apologise. Offering to make it up to them is also a nice addition (so long as you’re willing to do so, that is). By constantly flaking out, you’re going to end up being “that” person who never turns up to anything even after RSVPing yes. We all have at least one of those people for friends, so why would you want to become that person too?! If you say yes to an invite, then make a damn good effort to honour your word and go. So what if you were invited to three parties on the same night? If possible, go to all three. That way you’ve honoured your word and you’ve also given yourself a range of options instead of going to the one party and finding out it was a dud.

The Power of Positive Thought

I consider myself a very positive person. I’m the kind of person who can take bad news, a shit day, a poor investment of time/money and say “Oh well, that was no good, now what’s next?” and move on. I cannot see the point in dwelling on things that cannot be fixed and certainly couldn’t have been prevented. In fact, I tend not to dwell on the silly things I do or see people do, which I could have easily prevented and say “oops” and sometimes even laugh about it. Why? Because negativity doesn’t help anyone ever. Negativity feeds negative thoughts and actions, so by being pessimistic and dwelling on whatever managed to ruin your day, you’re just adding fuel to the fire and will inevitably make things worse for yourself.

Of course one can’t expect to remain positive all the time, we’re all prone to negative thoughts and feelings when things become a bit much. After all, we’re only human. I’ve always regarded people who are constantly upbeat, positive and peppy with suspicion! But adding more positivity into your life, even when doing so is just about the last thing on your mind, can work wonders for you. In the short term, it improves your mood. Which in turn can help brighten someone elses day, and start a magnificent chain-reaction to all those around you. In the long term it’s good for your health. We all know the saying “laughter is the best medicine”, and it is so very true. There have been so many stories of people who have defeated terrible diseases like cancer just being staying positive and laughing as much as possible. Imagine what it could do to a perfectly healthy person!

I’m not proclaiming myself the Queen of Positive Thinking but I do know a bit about how to forget the rotten stuff and focus on the things that make you feel good and can lift you mood:

• Think of how much worse things could be. Yes this is something our mum’s would say and we’d roll out eyes about, but it’s true. You car broke down? Better than having a nasty car accident, or not having a car at all, right? You didn’t get the job you were hoping for? maybe that means an even better job opportunity is around the corner!
• When everything seems to be turning itself shit, think about the things in life that make you happy. Nothing to do with what’s upsetting you right now, just the little things that always seem to cheer you up when you’re down. A favourite of mine is to go on walks with my mum and appreciate nature. The sound of birds chirping and watching them build nests. Seeing a magnificent flower that’s just bloomed. These sorts of things always bring me back down to earth and help me remember how wonderful life is despite beyond you’re little square.
• When life is bringing you down, do something you love to do, no matter how selfish. Go out with the girls/boys and get drunk and dancing, damn the fact you have to work tomorrow. Listen to your favourite songs, all  in a row, and sing them loud and proud. Re=read your favourite book/s and remind yourself of why the mean so much to you. Take a bath with 50 bath bombs and a bottle of champagne and get all wrinkled up as the water turns cold. Talk to someone who never ceases to make you laugh, inspire you and make you feel good (we all have a friend like this). Just do what makes you happy and forget about what’s bothering you, even for a minute.
• Be healthy! If you’re always feeling down-and-out, tired and miserable it could be physical. particularly if it’s not normal for you. This may not sound like fun, but eating healthy, delicious food and getting exercise works wonders for everyone. Sometimes negative or unwell/unhappy feelings are your body’s way of saying “I need some love and attention!” which is exactly what you need to give it. Never underestimate the power of a big, healthy salad and a long bike ride or gym session.
• Visit your mum or someone similar. I love my mum to death, and even if she sometimes drives me mad, being with her always takes me back to being a kid, whether it’s through reminiscing or just mucking around together and cheers me up immensely every time. If you live near your mum (or dad, or whoever made growing up awesome)  go visit them as much as possible, just involve them in your life. It will help you both immeasurably.
• Surround yourself with other positive people. God knows I’ve been through this one too many times. having negative  people around you will make you negative too. Maybe their chronic liars or attention seekers (or as my boyfriend calls them, “energy vampires”), these negative people will suck all positive thoughts from you and turn you into one of them. Don’t let that happen under any circumstances! Either cut your losses and find more positive friends, or else take it upon yourself to help spread the love and positive vibes. This will either be a tremendous success, or a dismal failure. Either way, don’t ever give in and never take their negativity to heart.

The most important lesson is to laugh lots and enjoy life. No, life wasn’t meant to be easy, but it’s not really that hard either. Think of what you have and those you love and never give in to negativity!

Current Mood:  peaceful

My weightloss dramas

As much as I hate to admit it, I am the kind of girl who is constantly on a diet and trying to lose weight. Everyone knows a girl like me, or else IS a girl like me, constantly striving to be slim through diets and exercise. It’s never a case of wanting to be healthy, it’s always “I want to be slim” and it always involves some new fad diet, a new gym membership or finding a way to work that involves exercising. I am the worst culprit of the people I know, it’s constantly playing on my mind that I have gained an extra kilo, that I skipped gym one day, that I ate a piece of cake, that I’m not losing weight depsite exercising everyday and eating nothing but celery and soup.

I hate it, to be perfectly honest. It’s not at all a healthy mentality and I know it better than anyone. I should be eating healthy and exercising to make myself fit, happy and healthy but instead it’s all about losing the fat arse and going down a dress size. It’s not all hopeless of course, I went on a diet and started an exercise regime that helped me lose over 8kg last year. I looked and felt AMAZING! I’d noticeably lost a great deal of weight and while I hadn’t dropped a full dress size as such, I had some of my clothes dropping off me and was just about ready to clean out the wardrobe. But then I started to slack off a little bit and so the weight loss eased up and the weight gain started to come back again. Then I went to Europe for a month and completely reversed all of my hard work.

So here I am, at a rut where I am desperate to get back to where I was, losing weight and feeling incredible with myself. Instead I am at a loss as to how I managed to get motivated enough to start another diet (though I’ve impressed myself by exercising still), feeling fat as a house and generally pretty yucky. I can’t work out how I got all that motivation back then and why I can’t get it back now. I had a bit of an epiphany last night, and so am making myself get back on track, instead of making excuses and cursing myself everytime I slip up. It’s not going to be easy, certainly not like it was last year (though it was probably a lot harder than I recall, as I assume I’m only remebering the good days where I did well and lost weight, as opposed to bad days where I messed up and didn’t lose or gained).

It’s not fun being obsessed with weight loss and dieting, but I am and I have to deal with it the best way I can. All I can do is be positive, eat healthy and do good exercise so that I can achieve my goal while maintaining a healthy lifestyle. And hopefully I will conquer the next dress size down this time! Wish me luck!