Farts and Feminism

August 6, 2015
Body and Soul, Feminism, Rants

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This might seem like a bit of a bizarre topic but I am actually quite passionate about it to be honestI personally think farting and other bodily functions are feminist issues and like to discuss them regularly. Is it because I think farts are absolutely hilarious? That’s probably part of it, but there’s a lot more to it then that!

I’ve read a few great articles about this topic (there’s even been scientific research), which confirmed my suspicions that the way men can get away with public displays of bodily function vs how women are shamed out of it are really damn sexist. How many times have you heard a man say he’s never heard his girlfriend/wife fart? Or that women don’t fart at all? I’ve heard it a lot and I find it so absurd that some (many?) men actually think this? That we literally do not or cannot fart, or that at the very least we hide it because it’s gross and inappropriate when the gas is come out of a woman’s arsehole. Get a grip dudes!

I feel the same about peeing. Men love pissing in public. Need to wee, not gonna wait til I find an actual toilet in five minutes time, just going to piss behind this bin! But god forbid women ever do so in public. At least when we do we’ll find a space that’s away from the public eye. But even so, it’s somehow perceived as gross and tacky while you’ll see dozen of blokes pissing on shop walls when out on a Saturday night. Could they have gone in the bar or nightclub they were just in? Of course! But nope, might as well piss wherever because we can, I’m a guy, wooo! I hate it! I have a really bad bladder so I find myself worrying about where I can pee a lot. I have almost wet myself on the hunt for a toilet which is about the time where I say “fuck it, I need to wee right now or else have pissypants”. But how many guys wait til that absolute bursting point before the do a public wee? Probably not many! Surely a random pee patch on the pavement is pretty gross regardless of the person who did it? Of course it is.

Why is this? Why are men allowed to fart, burp, piss and cough up phlegm without much more then a dirty look while women are too terrified to do any of these, even in the privacy of her own home? It’s because women aren’t allowed to be too “human”. If we show too much “real” stuff like men do then we become less desirable and therefore less fuckable. So much importance is placed on being ladylike that we’re actually denied the right to let our bodies do what they need to do naturally. I mean, most women hate pooping in public toilets because we’re ashamed of the noises we make! That is so bizarre and unfair!

Personally I think well-timed farts and burps are one of the greatest comedic devices ever. I am thankful I grew up in a house where we could fart and burp, talk about poop and wee and all that stuff without being shamed because “eww women don’t do that”. A lot of families aren’t like this, they won’t discuss any of it, which is actually really fucking bad and can cause you harm! I do understand that some people just don’t like any of it, they find it gross whoever it comes from. That’s OK! Different strokes for different folks! But when a man roars with laughter at his own farts but is repulsed when a woman does the same, that is some sexist bullshit.

LADIES: Embrace your farts! Burp when you need to! Discuss your bowel and bladder movements with your friends! Use your bodily functions to your advantage and overthrow the patriarchy! There is no reason why men can make every gross sound or smell available to them without concern and women are expected to act like they’re robots who don’t expel anything, ever. Maybe you don’t think this is worth worrying about, that feminism has bigger things to worry about. But c’mon, if women are living their whole lives without ever farting in front of their partner for fear of disgusting them, if women are making themselves sick by being too ashamed to tell anyone about their issues with their own bodily functions, that’s a bloody huge issue that absolutely needs to be addressed. While we worry about every other shitty (heh) thing that affects women but not men because the patriarchy fucking sucks. Because yeah, we can care about many things at once and in my case, being able to fart is one of them!

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  • Dunkymunch

    You could always move to India, they piss and shit on the side of the street like animals.

  • Yes well thank you for missing the point and commenting anyway.