I have worked in office environments for many years now, and for the most part I love it. I get to sit in air con all day, I work in the middle of the City, I get regular lunch breaks, I don’t have to work on weekends etc. But working in an office comes with some downsides, such as being friendly with people who you’d never put up with outside of work and dressing like a chump because apparently you work better in a restrictive business shirt than you do a comfy t-shirt (yeah right).
Among many of my office-related gripes, the one thing that I dread the most about working in an office, are all of the conversations about food. UGGGHHHH! Now, I love food, I love eating it and I even like to talk about it a fair bit. But at some stage it was decided that food was one of those subjects, much like weather, that is a perfect conversation starter in workplaces that everyone can relate to (after all, we all eat food!) and can’t offend anyone.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not offended by food in any way shape or form, I just find endless conversations about it really friggen boring. I absolutely dread someone wandering into the staff kitchen when I’m reheating last nights tea or cooking steamfresh vegies because I’m too damn lazy to prepare real meals. I’m pretty sneaky about it and so rarely have to worry about boring food discussions but I can’t be a winner every time and sometimes I’m sucked into the vapid, uselessness of work-lunch-chats.
“Ooh someone’s eating healthy!” they say, seeing my steamed vegies and can of tuna.
“Aw yeah, trying” I reply, faking a chuckle and hoping against hope they get the hint and leave me alone.
I actually think that’s why my lunches are pretty boring, if I have anything too delicious or exotic, it will inevitably make people want to talk about it more, until I just want to throw it in the bin and go get sushi instead. Which I know seems super assholish, but I just can’t stand forced conversation, plus I feel what I choose to eat at lunch is no one’s damn business but my own.
Another food-related, work conversation I detest is the long-winded discussion about where to have lunch. In my last workplace where it was all a bunch of white guys aged from 27 to 45, they’d spend a good half hour discussing where they were all going to lunch before actually leaving the office. Between starting to talk about it and then returning from lunch, a good 90 minutes would have passed. I also never got why they all were so keen to go to lunch together or the fuss they’d create when someone suggested something different. I mean, they’d always end up going to Oporto’s anyway, so I never understood the big song and dance about it.
As for where I work now, I always thought of myself as a bit of a foodie, but what I meant was I like to stuff my face with food all the time. I have now discovered being a foodie is about using fancy words when describing food, eating at expensive restaurants where things are sauteed and people feel OK about eating baby chickens because they call it poussin and basically taking the pleasurable act of eating food and making it super boring and crazy expensive. Seriously, how do people who are on similar wages to me afford to eat out that often, let alone at restaurants with actual michelin stars??? It blows my mind, but not in a fun way but in a “holy shit you need to get lives that don’t involve calling a piece of meat a medallion”.