CARA RAGE: Why I’m not an “attention whore”

October 11, 2012
Cara Rage, disappointment tuesday, Feminism, My Life, Rants

This week I was attacked on my Facebook by someone I know (not really a friend, more an acquaintance that I know through some mutual friends). I wrote this status update:

I wrote this while in a bad mood after having a crappy morning. I mean, it was Tuesday after all and we all know how I feel about Tuesday’s. I also think it’s fair to say I was just having a vent and didn’t expect to be taken very seriously. And most of my friends who commented on it were totally cool about it, agreeing with me or making jokes about whether or not I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe or food on my face to warrant the stares.

To cut a long story short, I was told that I can’t look the way I look and not expect stares and that I was being a hypocrite for getting annoyed at someone for looking at me when I work in a boring office environment. I was also called an “attention whore” and  an “incessant whinger” in between some backhanded compliments. But the message was clear “You’re not allowed to feel bad about this, you’ve brought this upon yourself by being unwilling to conform to the general definition of ‘normal’ and so you need to get over it”. It’s really pissed me off! To anyone who thinks that people deserve to be stared at for being “attention whores”, I have this to say to you”

I do not like being rudely gawked at by complete strangers. I don’t dress or look the way I look because I crave attention, I just do it because that’s who I am. If I wanted attention I would have a far crazier hairdo, way more tattoos and dress a hell of a lot differently. This assumption is just perpetuating the misconception that girls who don’t “fit in” with the rest of the general population are just desperate for attention when in actual fact, we just like different things to the bulk of other women. Life is too short to look like everyone else, but that doesn’t mean we should just suck it up when people forget their manners.

Like I’ve said again and again, if you think someone looks interesting enough to make you want to stare, go up to them and say something. Being stared at can totally ruin a person’s day, but receiving a compliment from a complete stranger can easily make someone’s week. It’s not hard, don’t be an arsehole. Whether it’s at a random person you see on the street, or on someone’s god damn facebook!

I won’t even get into the fact I believe this is a sexism thing, where some guys get their backs up at women who voice their strong opinions, whereas they’ll let their guy friends get away with way worse and not feel the need to start a fight. I’ll leave that for another rant later on ;)

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  • Stacey Cash

    I hate that attitude too. I find I get a similar thing because my style can be a bit, for lack of a better word, “twee”. There seems to be this idea that grown women who like looking cute are just doing it for attention, or to appear less threatening to men. Ah, no, I just like cute shit. This is how I choose to present myself because it’s how I feel comfortable, nothing to do with anyone else.  I still believe I am owed proper courtesy & respect, just like any other person. :)