Take My Advice – Breaking Up

As I have eluded to here, I went through a very eventful breakup with my long term boyfriend recently and as someone who’s never been much of a dater (ie. had only a couple of boyfriends), it was a new and terrifying experience for me. In the meantime a very good friend of mine left their fiancé recently and I know a few other people who’ve had major breakup’s as well. So here’s my advice, based on personal experiences as well as those of others, to help you get through your breakup:

GOT DOUBTS? UNHAPPY? BREAK IT OFF
So you’re getting a bit restless? That’s not a good reason to break up with someone. Talk to them first. But for those who have been with someone a while and no amount of talking is fixing your relationship, then break it off NOW. Most people convince themselves it will get better, that’s it’s just a rough patch or whatever, but if it’s not getting better, you need to move on. This is especially true if marriage is involved. Do not wait to see if being married will help, because it’s almost definitely will not. Save your money and move on. It’s sucks and it’s sad, but it’s for the best.

DON’T CONTACT THEM…YET
I know the temptation is there to flick them a casual text or email them some hilarious link. But you need to kick-start your break up with a complete lack of contact. Chances are you’re breaking up for good reasons, but sadness makes you forget those reasons, and your heart will do anything it can to get happy again QUICKLY. Seeing your ex too soon after a break up is bad news. You’ll inevitably want to get back with this person ASAP, despite the fact you really shouldn’t be together any more. Just chill and leave it a couple of months, and if you absolutely must speak to them, only do so once you’ve moved on enough to not hurt when you think about them any more.

RESPECT THEIR WISHES
If they ask you to not contact them for a month or whatever, please respect their wishes. Nothing good will come out of ignoring their requests, and if you’re hoping to get back together with them then you’ll completely ruin your chances because you’re being too selfish to listen to their requests.

MOVE OUT. NOW!
If you live with them and break up, you need to move out. Seems to me the dumper should be the one to move out. After all, you’ve probably just broken their heart and it’d be an arsehole thing to then ask them to move out. Unless they cheated on you, of course. Nothing good will come out of you continuing to live with them. You need space and you need it now. Sometimes space is all you need, and it might be what saves your relationship. But never stay because you own that place together. Grow a pair and get out.

LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AGAIN
Maybe they broke up with you and now you feel totally unlovable. Or maybe you broke up with them because they treated you like arse and always put you down. Whatever the reason, you need to learn to love yourself again. You no longer have anyone to give your love too, so why not keep it for yourself? Do the things you didn’t/couldn’t do when in a couple and revel in them. Be selfish. Just remember you’re a good person and that you’re not destined to be alone forever, that you will feel better sooner than you think because you’re AMAZING.

DON’T LET YOURSELF GO
Don’t let yourself go by eating everything,  neglecting to wax/shave certain places or wearing makeup. These little things are what makes us girls feel lovely and you need them right now. For guys, please keep shaving. There’s not much worse than the “I’m a sad, lonely hobo” look. Looking after yourself and maintaining the things you did while spoken-for is important. And if you stopped doing those things while in the relationship, start doing them again now. You’ll feel a lot better and most importantly, you will look super hot should you happen to bump into your ex randomly.

LISTEN TO BAD RnB MUSIC
Don’t act like you’re too cool for it. We all know corny RnB music helps. Right now this is my absolute obsession right now: