How to Scare Ruby Velour

January 24, 2011
My Life, Random Thoughts

I thought it would be a bit of a laugh to tell you about the random stuff that am scared of. We all have those irrational fears that seem ridiculous to just about anyone else. Not like clowns (man, am I the only person who’s not scared of clowns?) or public speaking. I mean the fears you have that are completely unfounded and very unlikely to happen. Like those freaks on Maury who are scared of rubber chickens and cotton balls or whatever.  I have a few good ones which I thought I would share in the pitiful hope you will also share and help me feel like less of a wuss.

I find myself filled with dread whenever I ride an escalator. Particularly when they’re going down. This dreadful mental image of me falling down them replays over and over in my mind and I picture my teeth kitting one of those terrifying, jagged edges and all my teeth being knocked in and my face being busted up. I also feel the same way, though to a lesser extent, about stairs. I think I am just worried about my face being ruined forever :(

Opening Garage Doors at Night
Now this is a very unique one! If every I open a garage door at night, I fear that there are wild dogs (wolves?) on the other side who will maul my legs off. I think this EVERY TIME I open a garage door at night and have done so for as long as I remember. The funny thing is, I once told this to my sister as we were opening the garage door when we were younger and she freaked out. Aw yeah, spreading those irrational fears to all I know and love!

Getting Caught in a Bus Door
We’ve all heard those horror stories where a kid’s jacket is caught in the doors of a bus and they’re dragged along the road until they are DEAD. Well I think about that every single time I’m on a bus. Not with trains though, strangely enough. Though I do worry about dropping valued possessions on train tracks and going down to fetch them when a train comes and fucks me up. I was stoked when I saw a sign in Japan indicating they had long pincer things to retrieve dropped possessions from the tracks so that I didn’t have to risk death.

I don’t know if this means I have vertigo or not but I am terrified of climbing down ladders. Getting up them is OK but getting down from the top of a ladder is an absolutely terrifying experience for me.  And if I’ve gone from a ladder to get on top of something high, then have to climb down onto the ladder… well just forget about it! I cry and feel sick and just can’t do it. The rare few times I have found myself stuck on something with a ladder waiting to get me down, I have had to have someone gently coax me down and tell me exactly what to do so I don’t fall and die/wig out. I wonder if this fear has a name? And if anyone else is terrified of climbing down ladders?

The Dark
I am shit scared of the dark. No matter how much I try to tell myself there’s no one there and I’m being an idiot, I can’t help but think the Blair Witch is going to come and get me (seeing that film allowed me to finally explain to people why I refuse to ever go camping because as far as I’m concerned, that’s exactly what will happen to me if I ever do). It’s not just outside darkness that scares me either, inside I am scared I will trip on something, step on spiders or get abducted by the serial killer hiding behind the kitchen counter. The dark is a mean and scary place.

Getting stuck in clothing forever
I suffer from mild claustrophobia, small spaces do scare me a little but nothing like how I feel when I think I am stuck in a piece of clothing. Have you ever tried something on that was either too tight or just really confusing and you thought for a second you were stuck? Well that is a fucking nightmare to me. As soon as I start to feel stuck in a a top or dress or whatever, I start to panic which only makes it worse (like a finger trap). The same applies to being stuck under bed sheets forever and especially sleeping bags. If it takes me more than two seconds to free myself I might as well just die then and there.

I wouldn’t say I’m terrified of them, but the big ones scare me because I have a very traumatic memory of being headbutted against a wall by an angry one as a kid. I don’t recall doing anything to it or even going near it for that matter, but that goat got me good. I’m sure if I got headbutted by one again I’d probably react the exact same way I did when I was 6 – scream and cry until my dad scares it off :(

EDIT: I have just thought of another one! James Bond’s invisible car at intersections. I’m not kidding, when I am merging or at a busy intersection, I always have this dreaded feeling that James Bond’s car from “Die Another Day” is there an will result in a horrific car crash. As a result I always heck for a shimmer in the air just in case the most improbable scene from a James Bond film ever has became a reality.

Submarines and moths
OK not really but I I’ve known people who are scared of both and it helps me not feel so dumb about mine :D

So now it’s your time to share. Do you have an irrational fear that you know is completely ridiculous but still find yourself crippled with terror when faced with said fear?  If so, I wanna hear ALLLL about it!

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  • Chris Philpott

    Yeah, I’ve had moth fears in the past, when I was younger. I’m pretty scared of bugs in general – they make me nervous because they’re unpredictable, I guess. Though only the uncommon ones like large moths and praying mantis’ and wasps. Houseflies are no problem.

  • Hmm. Now i’m thinking about all of mine! I don’t think i’m too bad.

    Escalators are pretty bad, some of the ones in Sydney are so long and steep I get so scared I freeze. I just stand there & can’t move. I can understand the fear of falling on them, it would be nasty!

    Getting caught in a bus door never really bothered me, until ast year when my foot got caught in one! I was lucky to be able to pull my foot free, but it scared the bejesus out of me, not to mention sprained my ancle!

    The dark, oh I hear you! I’m a lot better now, but until Adam came about, I slept with the light on. Every night, until I was 18! I actually really hate the night, people call me a night owl & think I love the night, but I can’t sleep well because it scares me. I feel so much safer during the day! Even when I was younger, before I would go to sleep I had to have my mum make a protective ring of my toys around my bed before I’d sleep!

    I’m not so scared of getting caught in clothes, i’m sure if it happened I would, but I get anxious if I can’t get jewellery off!

    Goats don’t bother me, but chickens do! The fluffy bantom ones are ok, but everday brown hard feathers chickens scare me. No idea why.

    One of my other ones, which is popular from what I hear is sharks in the swimming pool! I always had a pool and I would never swim in it alone! I don’t know how a shark would get in to the pool, but I used to be so scared!

  • Haha I love the last one. I don’t know why we let ourselves get freaked out about such stupid things that can never happen to us.

  • I get creeped out by cockroaches pretty badly, they just look awful and the thought one one crawling on me makes me want to die. I’ve known a few people scared of moths, but personally I like them (up until the fly in my face/mouth anyway).

  • Toads. And frogs. And any other weird creatures that do that weird toad/frog jumpy thing. Once I had to get a frog out of my house so that my cats wouldn’t hurt it. Imagine me screaming and waving a wet facewasher while trying to catch a frog. HILARIOUS.

    I share your fear of the dark, and of being caught in bus doors also.