I got a link to an article called “Best Friends for Never” by my best friend today which, as I first started reading it, made me angry. I got my female-thang on instantly and was all “Oh NO he didn’t” but then I actually thought about it, stopped being such a girl and had a laugh and realised it was all pretty much true. I hate to admit it, but girls are such bitches! No matter how nice we are or how hard we try not to, we all love to bitch and gossip and there’s nothing we can do to stop ourselves from doing it. I try not to bitch too much, though as a female I still do it and will reluctantly admit it’s kind of fun to do.
I am absolutely hopeless at being a bitch. I may come off as one with my ranty blog posts and sarcastic tweets, but I am generally a really nice person in real life. I’m the kind of person who will stay friends with someone who may not be all that nice to me, just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings by ending the friendship. Problem with that though, is that I am a girl and so leaving those sorts of people around in my life result in the need to bitch. And since I am such a social networking whore, naturally things get out of hand and very recently I ended up bitching about a friend on twitter with another friend, which the person in question later discovered. Needless to say I had some explaining to do, which has now resulted in me losing a friend. This outcome was actually something I wanted but because I had to be a typical female, I’ve hurt someones feelings in a public forum and made myself look like a right cow.
So my advice to all girls is this: Learn not to bitch. I know how unfeasible that sounds given how it’s apparently ingrained in all of us (boys too!), but we need to get out of this trap where we deal with our problems with other people by bitching about them behind their back! We all need to face up to what’s bothering us, particularly when it comes to the company we keep and start being upfront and honest instead of sneaky and nasty. I can think of about 1000 things I’d rather do than tell a friend they piss me off and I don’t want to spend any time in their company any more, but in the long run you’re better off getting it out there and saying it to their face so you can clear your conscience and not look like a total twat when they find out the smack you’ve been talking behind their back.
I made a dumb mistake by venting online instead of getting the balls to confront my friend, something I’ve been dying to do for ages but just never found the confidence to say it. Once I’d been found out, I told them what I’d been meaning to say to them all along and while I know their feelings are hurt and they now hate my guts, I had to do it in order to stop the vicious cycle. Otherwise, had I lied and apologised for being mean and patched things up, things would have just stayed the same and I’d keep bitching behind their back and being friendly to their face before eventually slipping up once again. I’ve caused some hurt in the short-term but in the long-term I’ve made both our lives much better.
Think of someone who you like to bitch about all the time. Do you need them in your life? Or could you it them down and work things out? Bitching causes small issues to become massive dramas because you work yourself up and your friend/s encourage you by listening and participating until the little thing that annoyed you in the first place has become somethings you’d be likely to see on Days Of Our Lives. Confront the issue without the bitching and get rid of the problem ASAP. Negativity is unhealthy and the less you have in your life, the better you will feel.
About Ruby
My name is Cara (but you can call me Ruby) and I like the colour pink, swearing, fist shaking, daggy dancing and 90s RnB music. Often all at once. I live in Brisbane which is always warm and is famous for its zombies.
Anyone who knows me in real life has very probably heard one of my Bear Grylls rants. They usually happen on a Monday night or Tuesday morning after the show has aired in Australia on Monday evening. Let me get this out, loud and clear, so no one has any misunderstandings: I FUCKING HATE BEAR GRYLLS!
It’s become apparent that most people who know of Bear Grylls think he’s fucking awesome. Well I am here to not only tell you that he is not but to also explain why. I hate the man so passionately that whenever someone says “Hey did you see ‘Man vs Wild’ last night?” I have to use every ounce of my self-control not to slap them in the face. I will however, let them know exactly how I feel about the show and the stupid dickwad who hosts it until I am shaking with rage.
So why do I hate him so much? Aside from the fact he has possibly the worlds most annoying accent and tries to get all Steve-Irwin-excited except with less amusement? Aside from the fact his show his a crock of shit? OK well how about how the motherfucker kills animals for ENTERTAINMENT. You heard me, enter-fucking-tainment! There’s no other way around it, people watch the show with the expectation that he will do something gross like drink muddy water or his own pee, or more importantly, kill an animal for food. What’s wrong with that, you might ask? EVERYTHING! I know animals are killed for food all over the world each and every day, I am not naive and nor am I even a vegetarian so it’s not as if I can get all morally-righteous about how meat is murder. But the simple fact is, he kills animals for his TV show because that’s what his brain-damaged target audience want, and so he delivers.
I get into the same argument about this every time I start ranting about Bear Grylls so let me just say this: This show is not about teaching people how to survive in tough locations. It is entertainment, pure and simple. If you think that after watching a bunch of his shows, you could be left alone in a Siberian wasteland and last more than a day then you’re fucking retarded! You’re going to remember all of the things a trained mercenary taught you in an hour TV show, are you? Get fucking real! You ain’t going to remember shit and you know it, dick bag. If you find your arse stranded in the amazon goddamn jungle, you probably did some fucked up shit and deserve to be eaten by piranhas or a boa constrictor within the first hour. Who the HELL finds themselves in those situations? Explorers? Adventurers? Indiana Jones, maybe? Not you, that’s for damn sure!
And then there’s the stupid belief he is actually surviving. OK guys so how’s the show being filmed? Ain’t by hand held camera! He has at least two camera guys with him, based on the different camera angles you see in the show. And that’s not including the people in the helicopters who do those impressive, sweeping shots of him while he’s supposedly “on his own in the wilderness”. Bollocks! Those camera people ain’t “surviving” with him which means they’re probably carrying food with them. Which means Bear Grylls doesn’t have to drink rancid water that camels have pooped in, nor does he need to eat anything he finds with a heartbeat. He could always point at a non-poisonous frog and say “If you were desperate, this type of frog would be edible” (not that it matters since you wouldn’t remember anyway and would most likely end up eating a poisonous toad by mistake) instead of then having to go kill it for the viewing pleasure of his deranged fan base with their insatiable blood lust.
Which brings me to my next point, which fills me with the kind of uncontrollable rage. Killing animals for entertainment. I’ve now established he’s not teaching people how to survive but rather showing off how fancy his SAS training is. I’ve also proven that he’s not actually surviving at all because he has a fucking camera crew with him and no one on earth is crazy enough to eat/drink the stupid shit he does so they’ve clearly got packed lunches in the backpacks and camera bags. These two facts therefore negate all need to kill any of the animals he so callously slaughters, because he doesn’t need the food and not one person watching the show will ever find themselves in a position where killing and eating a massive tarantula will be the difference between life and death. As far as I am concerned, he just enjoys killing animals and ensuring high ratings by eating them LIVE or in the nastiest way possible. You know what dude? Kill the damn animal first if you must eat it. Biting the head off a live snake is not only unnecessary and clearly dangerous, it’s also CRUEL!
If you still think he’s great, that his show really is about teaching people how to survive in inhospitable locations (and actually think you could do any of the stuff he does), that he genuinely is trying to survive in the wilderness and that the animals he kills are a necessary part of his survival, then fine. Just don’t talk about the douchebag to me, lest you wish to feel my fiery wrath. I can’t help you if you’re really that stupid, so just keep all mentions of “Man vs Wild” or Bear Grylls at least 100 meters away from me at all times.
After deciding to do this, I’ve paid a lot closer attention to the songs that get stuck in my head and was pretty shocked (maybe even a bit disturbed) but the kinds of songs I kept getting in my head. I must have had “The Garbage Man Can” from the Simpsons in my head almost every single day. It was weird. I tried jotting most of them down though a few of them I only wrote down an artist name like “Snoop Dogg” and so I’m not sure what song I had in my head at that time (I’ve tried to work out which Snoop song it was but youtubeis being a bitch, so let’s just pretend it was “Gangsta Luv” shall we?).
Anyway, the most memorable ones this week were:
Last Monday morning I had Lady Gaga’s “Money Honey” which I guess is to be expected as I tend to have one of her songs in my head more often than not though I can’t remember the last time I heard that song, come to think of it.
On Tuesday morning I woke up with “Rude Boy” by Rihanna in my head which has pretty much stayed put ever since. What can I say, I love that song. I vaguely recall trying to dance like she does in the film clip on Saturday night in one of Brisbane’s shittiest nightclubs. Oh yeah.
Later in the week I had a bit of a blast from the past with “Glamorous Life” by Sheila E and “Like A Virgin” by Madonna (which always becomes “Like A Surgeon” which is definitely the best version of it). Neither of these songs were in any way justified, though I was pretty excited the following day to see that Sheila E is touring! A premonition maybe? I like to think so.
And unfortunately that’s where I lost track! I promise to keep tabs better this week so I can share you the massively daggy jukebox that is my head! Stay tunes for a week of such wonders, such as “Crush On You” by Aaron carter. Yes you read it right, that was the song I had in my head tonight. Just because I thought of saying “you found me out” to someone, BAM the worst song in the whole world went and got stuck in my head D:
There’s nothing much boring than a person who’s all gung-ho about health and fitness and works out five days a week and actually uses their gym membership on top of exercising at home or going for jogs after work. I say this as one of those people. I used to always sling off at fitness freaks, mutter about how they need to go get a life and think about how much I was looking forward to sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating dinner later that evening while they recovered from an exhausting workout and ate a salad. And then I started exercising to lose weight, realised exercise actually made you feel really, really good and kind of got into it at some stage.
The difference between me and most of the people I see at the gym or when I got for a run is that I don’t get all “fitness jerk” about it. You know the kind of person I mean, they’re obsessed with exercise and make you feel bad because you don’t think about working out every minute of the day. They strut around the gym like they’re gods gift to whatever and flirt with the opposite sex by flexing their enormous muscles or showing off their perky butts by doing squats in the middle of the weights area. God I hate them!
You can love exercise and not be one of those creeps and I highly recommend it. You don’t have to do it for weight loss (though that’s obviously the main reason why people exercise at all) because the other benefits are boundless. Just by adding regular exercise to your weekly routine will improve your health and well being dramatically. I’m not talking about going for a slow half hour walk once a week either, I mean a proper work out where you sweat a lot and hurt at least a little bit the next day. You don’t have to sign up at the gym or get a personal trainer to do this, though I find have a gym membership motivates me since I refuse to waste money so make myself go as often as possible in order to make the membership fee worth it. If you can afford it though, a PT is great to get the ball rolling on your fitness and also teaches you how to exercise the areas you want to target (and then you can just keep it up by yourself). You really just need motivation and and someone to do it with, as nothing kills motivation to exercise faster than having to do it on your own all the time.
If you’re new to the world of frequent exercise I have a few tips to get you started (don’t I always?!):
Get decent exercise gear, especially proper shoes to prevent leg and back pain/injury. Wear stuff that’s comfortable and breathable. For the ladies, you MUST get a decent sports bra. I went without one for years and then when I finally bought myself one I was SHOCKED by how much better I can exercise when my boobs aren’t bouncing around everywhere.
Mix it up. Doing the same exercise/s day after day will bore you to death and will probably cause you to give up really quickly. Instead of the treadmill, go for a walk or run outside, it’s better for your body and you get to see the great outdoors for an hour or so, as opposed to someone’s sweaty back. Take classes, gyms have heaps and they’re free when you are a member! Classes keep you far more motivated than if you just tried to do the same level or exercise by yourself on the gym floor. Also work out a simple routine and build it up, don’t go to every gym class in a week, exhaust yourself and have to take another week to recover before you go back (if you even decide to go back).
Start a sport. Nothing makes exercise more fun than team sport! It doesn’t have to be something traditional like soccer, after all pole dancing is now considered a sport and is a fantastic (and sexy) form of exercise. Martial arts gives you a cool skill (ie. kicking arse) while also being great exercise and can teach you a lot about self control and anger management. I personally started boxing a few months ago and my fitness is insane now, on top of my gaining strength and losing fat. I go to Brisbane Boxing in West End which I highly recommend if you’re in Brisbane and want to hurt like a bitch the day (sometimes days) after you go.
If you hurt really badly the day (or days) after an intense workout, don’t give up, keep it up and get your body used to the pain. I know that sounds terrible, but it’s all about building up a resistance to the pain and making your muscles stronger (see the wiki article about DOMS for more info). The pain is worth it, I promise!
So I realise I sound like a massive exercise-fanatic-douchebag after writing this BUT regardless, I think people need to get moving more often, if not to lose weight then to get healthy and make yourself live longer and stop being such a lazy jerk. Nothing grinds my goat more than people who whinge about feeling fat when I know they probably haven’t done any half decent exercise since PE in high school. It’s gonna hurt at first and you’ll feel like a massive wanker when you first put on your fancy new gym gear and sprain a muscle in front of fitter, healthier and better looking people than you, but the end will make it ALLLL worth it. Trust me. You can thank me later when you get kick someone’s arse in a race or you have to rescue a damsel in distress or next summer when you fit in your old bikini or favourite dress.
I hate to boast but when my housemates and I host a party, we do a damn good job. We don’t have many of them and usually reserve them for special occasions, and this one was no exception. We moved into this unit a couple of months ago after spending too much time in the unit from hell where we had thrown some excellent parties (such as “Superheroes on a Budget” and “Doomed Romance” as some of our themed ones) so we knew we could throw a killer housewarming in a unit where it was more spacious and far more classy. To suit our stylish new place, we decided not to choose a theme as such except a general sort of New York style (as the unit is very new York-ish) and encouraged everyone to dress up in the best cocktail wear and bring a bottle of alcohol of our choosing. We got a friend who is a professional cocktail mixologist to make cocktails for us for the first four hours of the night in order to avoid the nasty mess that inevitably comes when everyone at a party decides to mix their own drinks, particularly as the night wears on and people have consumed too many of their own crappy cocktails. We also had a magic show on during the night, incorporating a beatboxer. That’s right, a beatboxer. Our friends Pete and Jonny have an act called The Majik Box where Peter performs his amazing street magic and Jonny beatboxes like you wouldn’t even believe. On top of that a few of our party guests were some of the best DJs in Brisbane who all spun a few tunes for us all to enjoy as the night went on.
I can honestly say this is the best cocktail party have ever experienced and am proud that I was one of the people involved in making it happen! It took a decent amount of money and planning to get it to work, but the effort was truly worth it when we had all of the guests tell us how great a night they had for days afterwards. In an effort to spread the love, I thought I’d share a few tips so that you can throw an amazing cocktail party which you too will be able to gloat about or years to come!
Tell people what alcohol to bring. If you do not do this, people will just bring the standard range of drinks like vodka and rum, which are very important, but it’d be a very dull cocktail party if all you could make were vodka lime sodas. Make sure to get a few people to bring the basic ones like vodka though, because they will be used the most and if they run out then you will have a tough time coming up with drinks that utilise lychee liqueur and blue Curaçao. On that note though, give the more obscure liqueurs to good, reliable friend who you’re sure will turn up and have a reserve list of drinks for the people who decide to come last minute.
Get someone to make drinks for you! Unless you’re a bartender who knows how to make a mean cocktail and don’t mind being behind the “bar” making drinks for all your friends (and let’s face it, who would want that) then get someone to make the drinks for you. If it’s a friend, pay them for their time as opposed to promising them free drinks all night long, because they’re bound to get drunk and no one likes a drunk bar tender (though a few drinks wouldn’t hurt, of course).
Get some good cocktail glasses! We got some stylish ones from Target (most of them were even on sale!) and also borrowed some others from friends. You’d be amazed how much better a cocktail looks (and tastes) when served in a beautiful glass. Accept the fact some of them will get broken, so don’t lash out on some Royal Doulton crystal glassware when that $60 champagne flute glass may wind up in sixty pieces on the floor.
Provide some food. This is pretty basic but people seem to overlook it so often. Don’t just go for some chips either, get some nice cheeses and dips and make sure you present them nicely. If you have the time/energy/money do something a little bit fancy or, as we did, something to suit the theme/event, such as our mini hot dogs which complimented with the New York theme. The bonus of having decent food at your cocktail party is that it will help slow down how quickly people get drunk. While we all know the sole intention of everyone there is to get wasted, helping slow that down so people can enjoy their night for longer is appreciated by all.
Nominate a host. This sounds totally boring but will help ensure the success of the party. In this case, I was that person (sort of self nominated actually) which meant I was always keeping an eye out for spillages, collecting empty glasses and washing them so that the bar tender could concentrate on making drinks, serving food, taking photos, letting people into the building etc. It’s not glamorous but at the same time it’s so necessary. That’s not to say I didn’t have a lot to drink, dance a lot nor enjoy myself profusely. It just meant someone was always keeping an eye on things and making sure nothing got out of control. It’s also sometimes better to be that person instead of accidentally letting the clumsy person or the busy-body take charge. At least you know how you want things run and won’t have to try and sort out their mess later.
Make your place party-safe! Hide anything breakable, move furniture near walls to allow lingering/dancing space and designate a specific wet-area for the making of drinks. Also make sure you have a designated smoking area. People will want to smoke so you might as well make it convenient or them to do so, no matter how much you might hate it. Otherwise you might find people smoking in the bathrooms or just anywhere they damn well please.
Lastly, once your bartender is done for the night, don’t let it become a mad free-for-all to the booze where everyone makes whatever they want and generally makes a huge mess and wastes all the leftover alcohol. Get a couple of trusted people (this is where you, as the host, will probably be the best person for the job) behind the “bar” making drinks. They don’t have to know what they’re doing or even be any good at it, you just need to restore some order. My sister and I did most of the mixing after our bartender left, and while we weren’t that good at making drinks and definitely not very fast, we had control and managed to ensure the alcohol lasted for a lot longer than it might have otherwise.
If you do have a cocktail party and use any of my tips, let me know how it went! I’d love to think someone else could have a party as fantastic as ours was (though having a beatboxing magic show might be a hard act to beat *wink*).
Check out the other photos I took on the night (on my Holga camera, hence the changing qualities of each photo) on my flickr.
I love music (as I keep reminding everyone) and apparently it really loves me back. Almost every morning I wake up with a new and totally random song in my head, and more often than not I cannot explain how it got there. Take this morning for example. For no reason that I could come up with, I woke up with “On My Radar” by Britney Spears in my head. I don’t listen to Britney actively, if ever, so I was bewildered by the presence o this song to say the very least. Not that I should be, considering I find I can on justify one out of every five songs I find playing over and over in my head. But still, I can’t recall having heard the song in ages, if anything I would have expected my person fave like “Womanizer” which I like to sing loudly at inappropriate moments!
So, because it amuses me and I don’t feel like I write enough about music, I am going to keep track of the songs I find in my head, particularly the ones I wake up with and the ones that are a little bit obscure (in the sense of how they got there not a in how unknown/indie they are). As part of this I will explain my connection to the song (if any), my guesses at how it got there and maybe even some little-known facts about the song/artist to jazz it up a little.
Today I had “Telephone” by Lady Gaga/Beyonce in my head. Not a huge shock since I love that song to death, but I’m not sure how it got stuck and why I feel compelled to yell the words to it as much as possible. Actually, maybe it’s because I keep thinking (and laughing) about this all week:
Today’s new nails were not done by me, in fact I finally got one of the girls at the nail salon I go to to do this for me. Usually I just get the basic colour done and go home to add the stickers or whatever myself, but on this occasion I had this sort of design in mind, and conveniently saw a girl in there who got something similar, so I got them to do it for me. Glad I did because she did a great job and it only cost me $5 extra on top of my usual refill! I chose the black with silver-glitter because our New York chique cocktail party was coming up that weekend and I wanted something kind of sleek and sexy as opposed to my usual bright and cutesy. Gotta say they did well!
Speaking of the cocktail party, I got my Holga photos back today so I will be doing an epic blog about the party and showing ya’ll the pictures I took (which is especially exciting since I’ve not yet displayed my Holga photos here at all). This is in the making so stay tuned!
I would also like to apologise (as I seem to do every time I blog, lately) about the lack of writing that’s been appearing here. I don’t have any great, interesting or even valid excuses so instead, I’d like to show you my new (and still-in-progress) workspace that I have been working on. I am pretty excited about having my own little area to do my thang while having a view out the window AND a view o the TV and projector! Oh yeah baby, SET UP! I have a few more bits and pieces to add before it’s done, which is when I’ll show it o a bit better. But for now, here’s a sneak preview (note the scrapbooking stuff, that’s part of mum’s Mothers Day pressie but shhhh):
