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Archive for January, 2010

What is Australia Day?

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

In case you’re not familiar with Australian holidays and celebrations, January 26th is Australia Day. I’ve always been a bit torn about how I feel about Australia Day and so never really know how to celebrate it. Typically it’s a day off work where you have a BBQ and drink a lot of beer and that’s about it. We’re Aussie’s, all we care about is having a day off work (preferably on Friday/Monday in order to get a long weekend), adding a BBQ and booze into the equation just sweetens the deal, really.

Personally I get a bit irked by all of this “Aussie Pride” business that’s been going on the last few years. It’s not that there’s anything really wrong with being proud of your country but it’s always been kind of un-Australian to make a fuss about it. We’re laid back people who sort of have this silent agreement with one another that yes, we do live in a bloody great country and we’re all very lucky and proud and all that. Being overly patriotic is more of an American thing to do and god knows we don’t want to be like those damn Yanks!

But the younger generation (which just so happens to be my generation) have decided they want to be loud and proud about how much they love being Aussie. So now they all wear Australian flag’s as capes and basically cover themselves in as many flag-motif items of clothing they could get their hands on. They even like putting little flags on their cars for the month leading up to Australia Day (which is so bloody daggy, might I add). But probably the worst of all is how many young people are getting the Southern Cross as tattoos these days. I am against these tattoos for many reasons, though mostly because I hate generic tattoos and wonder why they even bother getting tattooed if that’s the best idea they could come up with. If I felt like getting a tattoo to represent my being Australian, I sure as hell wouldn’t get a southern cross and would get something personal and relevant to me and me only (but that’s more of a “I hate generic tattoos” sorta rant). I don’t necessarily agree with how people call these tattoos Austicka’s because not all people who get these tattoos are the typical, racist yobbo we all hate so much. But it does instantly label you as a bit of a douchebag, whether you are one or not.

To be honest, I will always be one of those quietly-proud Aussies who doesn’t make a big deal about how much I love Australia and cringes a bit when kids in their early 20s run around, pissed as parrots, carrying the Aussie flag, Southern Cross tattoo on their necks (what’s with that placement, by the way?) and bellowing “Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi” in everyone’s faces. It’s not that they’re bad people, and certainly not all of them are bogans who put stickers on their utes that say “We’re full, get out” or “Love it or leave it”, it’s just something that’s going to take me a lot to get used to. Because as much as I’d love to think it’s just a fad that will disappear in a couple of years, I’m starting to think it might be a trend that’s here to stay.

Some interesting articles I found on the subject, if you please:

Since when did dumb-arsed nationalism become compulsory?
Australia Day Is Still Ok
Why Australia Day is rubbish
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Yuck, Yuck, Yuck
Enough with the Australia Day backlash

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Posted in Random Thoughts, Rants | No Comments »

That’s what she said…

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Marilyn Monroe Working Out

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
- Marilyn Monroe

(More here)

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Posted in Body and Soul, Life | No Comments »

Ruby’s First Gig of 2010 – Calvin Harris/Dizzee Rascal/Lily Allen

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

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Last night I went to my first big gig of 2010, one that I’d been particularly excited about due to it featuring three of my favourite artists – Calvin Harris, Dizzee Rascal and Lily Allen. I have been a fan of both Calvin and Lily since their first single’s came out and have seen each of them once before. With Dizzee I admit I kind of jumped on the bandwagon when “Dance Wit Me” came out, but as someone who is actually very much into rap and not just a fancy-pants who likes whatever is popular right now, I don’t feel too bad about it.

Last night’s gig was a mixture of good and bad. Oh the music and artists were great, but there was a lot of shit stuff going on that nearly ruined my evening. First of all it was at the Riverstage which is an excellent venue but as it’s all-ages and has 10pm noise restrictions, gigs there often start quite early which sucks if you work til 5pm which is when the gates typically open. My friend Sarah, my sister Erin and I planned to lave mine at 6pm to get there around 6:30pm thinking that’s about when Miami Horror (who?) would be done. But oh no, turns out Calvin Harris started at 6:15 and so we only made it for his last two songs (”The Girls” and “I’m Not Alone”) which PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH! Not only did he have a shit start time, his set was only 30 minutes long. God I was angry. I am seriously considering writing a strongly-worded email to someone about this. Or bust some heads together, whichever ends up being easier. I managed to dance and cheer and swoon for these two songs at least, so I guess it could have been worse (ie. missing him entirely). My sister and I both got his t-shirt as a tribute to him and our poor timing. Also because he is so very handsome and ought to be painted in gold across my boobs ;)

Dizzee Rascal was next and that’s about when all the teenyboppers came along. A number of which stood right by us and tried to push through. We wouldn’t let them so they decided it’s be clever to push and crash into us violently. We told them to stop, yelled at them and then started pushing back. But they kept doing it and being little smart-arses about it, just to add icing to the cake. So Sarah pushed them as hard as she could so they almost toppled over and told them to “put some clothes on you sluts” (I’m sorry but girls who are clearly 15 years old should NOT be out wearing tiny denim shorts and little velveteen bra-tops, nor should they wear that much trashy blue eyeshadow and red lipstick). One in particular, I shall call her Velveteen (for her poor choice in top-material) was yelly and getting all up in our faces. I got very black all of a sudden and did the crazy-black-lady hand-thing and yelled “Do you wanna do this?” very loudly in her face a bunch of times. This kept on even as Dizzee got on stage, Sarah pushed them again and a couple of them came back swinging so we grabbed them, roughed them, mostly Miss Velveteen, up ever so slightly (just a few choke-holds, face-smooshings, slappings etc) and a final shove and they finally decided to back off. We shook with rage for a while but we soon transformed that into energy to DANCE.

Dizzee Rascal was excellent, I really loved his show. I saw him once at Parklife a couple of years ago but was too far back and too smashed to enjoy it properly so this was a much better experience. He started off with a bit of his back catalog and a few of the non-singles from his latest album which were all excellent. He worked the crowd a lot, getting us all to cheer and chant things and generally being very cute yet a lil bit gangsta (his face is so cute I could pinch his cheeks forever, which is probably not the look he’s going for really). I flipped my lid when he and his rather handsome backup singer (backup rapper?) started doing the Funky Charlston before “Old School” because it’s my favourite dance of all times ever! Then at the end he played all the big, new hits, starting with “Dance Wit Me”, followed by “Holiday” (probably my favorite) and ending with “Bonkers”. I never jumped/danced so much in my life, my legs and butt are still sore actually, and I very nearly peed myself from all the jumping/needing to go to the bathroom.

Lily Allen was on next, but we were exhausted and so stood a bit further back where the slope starts in order to see her properly. God is she short! And her legs are amazing! I don’t know if it’s weight-loss or just those fantastic high heels she wore but damn I couldn’t stop staring at those pins! She opened with Lil Wayne’s “A Milli” which I thought was hilarious because that song is so bad it’s good. She played a lot from her new album which I admit I only got a month or so ago, so I didn’t know a couple of the songs. I loved how she dropped some drum n bass and dubstep into her songs, such as “Smile” because I was feeling as though her songs were just a teeny bit slow going at first. She did an AMAZING cover of Brittney’s “Womanizer” which I know all the words too apparently (as if anyone’s actually shocked by this fact!) and ended the gig with a very extended version of “Not Fair” which had some (decent) electro as the last chorus. I personally loved her rants the most – she told us she’d watched BBC news the other day and was angry at the Americans criticizing Obama for not making the changes he promised since becoming President last year. I laughed, imagining her shouting at the TV, shaking her fist and thinking “right, I’m going to have to rant about this tonight to get it off my chest”. Hilarious. I also loved hearing everyone yelling the lyrics to “Fuck You” whilst giving the finger. Very classy!

Overall it was a lot of fun and I guess I can’t complain too much. I just wish we’d seen all of Calvin and that those slutty little girls had OD’d before they got to the gig (they were definitely on something), though admittedly I did get a lovely rush of adrenaline after our biff-up so maybe it was a good thing!

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Posted in Festivals and Gigs, Music Love, Rants | No Comments »

Things That Pissed Me Off Today (Part 1)

Monday, January 18th, 2010

I hate Mondays. Not in a comical, Garfield-esque kinda way but in a “violently loathe them more than anything ever” kinda way. I don’t know what it is about them, I don’t even have to be working on a Monday for me to hate them. I just hate the whole stinkin’ day and am always glad when they’re over.

So to start this fine Monday morning I thought I’d share the things that pissed me off this morning. Because nothing makes me feel better (or a day go faster) than the release of some pent up anger!

  1. The deadshits who hang around the cafe near my place. Seriously guys, I know you’re all unemployed dole bludging no-hopers but that doesn’t mean you have to laze about in everyone’s way, smoking durries and hurling insults at one another as we respectable people try to get to work. Also, the ground is not a seat.
  2. The man who decided to block the whole escelator by standing on the right between the people on the left. Look I know Brisbane ain’t a bustling metropolis like London or Tokyo but that’s rude and stops my flow when I am rushing to work. It’s common coutesey to stand to the left to let people who are in a hurry walk past on the right. People like you are the reason why I usually walk to work (commuters are all spastics, seriously).
  3. The lady with the tacky San Francisco grafitti-style writing tote. Oh you’ve been to San Franciso, have you? Yeah well so have I and I consider it one of the most beautiful cities I have ever been to and am appalled that you think that awful bag is a worthwhile souvenir of such a vibrant, beautiful place. Unless it was a half-arsed gift from a friend/relative I guess… I still would have binned it though.
  4. Waiting for approval for a new place to live. Seriously, it’s almost been a week since we applied to this one (amazing) place and we’re DYING from anticipation and worry. No matter how much time you think you’re allowing to move, it’s never enough. If we do get it we’ll have about 5 days to move. UGH!
  5. Smokers. Now, I hate people who bitch about smokers almost as much as I’m sure actual smokers do (it’s their body, let them do what they want with it) but sometimes they do piss me off. There’s nothing more horrifying then getting a facefull of second hand smoke first thing on a Monday morning. I’m sorry but that tar-ridden cancer-smoke has been IN your lungs and breathed back out again. WHY would I want them anywhere near my person let alone in my face and down in my lungs? Learn to expel your smoke away from the general public and maybe all the fancy pants smoking-haters mightn’t be so damn vocal about how bad a habit it is. Oh and learn to control your habit too – taking 50 smoko’s a day is highly unproductive and is totally unnecessary.
  6. Random heat waves. I know I live in Brisbane and ought to be used to them but I will never get used to 40 degree heat with what feels like 99% humidity. Like a hot, wet blanket it is!

But on the flipside there’s always something that makes all of that horrible Monday-morning bull crap seem totally irrelevant. Today it was the story of a baby elephant being born and being super cute about it. Awwww. I guess it ain’t all bad after all :)

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Posted in Pissed Off, Rants | 1 Comment »

Fireworks Nails!

Friday, January 15th, 2010

NYEnails01

So I was a bit slack and didn’t post my nails when I got them done the other week! It was only now, as I was taking ripping the diamantes off with a scalpel after half of them had randomly fallen off that I realised I’d not posted them and decided I probably should! I did this for NYE actually, and chose these stickers (which I got in Tokyo) as they reminded me of fireworks. Except for the bows which reminded me of KAWAII! The black nail polish I used is “Blackest Black” by Revlon which is a bit of a lie because a) I got this colour because of the blue glitter (that only shows up when NOT on your nails, unfortunately) and blue glitter don’t = blackest black and b) because it took three coats before it was even opaque which does not imply “Blackest Black” in any way whatsoever! Boooo!

Anyway these nails lasted a lot longer than my previous fancy diamante nails which I ruined thanks to my filing job where papers knocked the jewels off very quickly :( These nails have also attracted me the most attention which I find odd because I don’t think they’ve been my cutest nail art yet. They were terrifically 3D though, so maybe that was it.

Oh and um, I still can’t think of a snappy title for my nail art posts so would REALLY appreciate some suggestions! The best suggestion will get something…probably some nail stickers? I dunno, I only just thought of offereing a prize just now… But it will be special and FUN! Once I think of it… :D

Oh and check out my bitchin’ new ring (middle finger). My first ever brand-name jewelry! It’s DKNY and was on sale and is so bling-tacular!

NYEnails02

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Posted in Nails | 2 Comments »

Makeup 101

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

badmakeup

I love makeup. I wear it almost everyday and am one of those girls who hates the thought of going out in public without my face on (or some mascara at the very least). I am by no means a makeup artist and I’m probably not even all that good at doing makeup (on myself or others) compared to a lot of other people, especially if all if the Youtube tutorials out there are anything to go by!  But I knows some of the basics and feel I should share these facts with you all for lack of anything better to do :D

Not all girls are into makeup, in fact I am sometimes surprised at how many girls I know who don’t wear makeup at all, usually because they just don’t know how to put it on! Then there are those who just aren’t interested in it, which is fair enough, though there is always a time and a place where makeup is necessary (unless you’re morally opposed to it, extremely allergic or a super-feminist, I suppose) which means you really need to know the basics to at least fool people into thinking you know what you’re doing.

  1. Mascara is your friend! Invest in a good mascara because it is what makes all the difference to your face. Adding mascara when you don’t really feel like putting on makeup will trick people into thinking you are made-up because it makes your eyes pop and they’re the windows into your soul blah-di-blah-blah. Seriously it makes a significant difference and I do really believe you should not leave the house without it on your lashes!
  2. Find the foundation that works for you. Do not go for whatever is cheap because you’re stingy. But at the same time, don’t just go for whatever is the most expensive because price doesn’t always = good. The first foundation you ever buy will probably not be the best one for you. You need to learn through practice, pretty much. I use Clinique Superbalanced foundation and find it’s the best one for me. There are probably other brands out there which I’d love more but until I find it, this is the foundation for me. I also LOVE mineral powder foundation as it’s easy and quick and makes you look pretty much flawless without all the extra effort and without making you look overdone. It’s also meant to be good for your skin but I think that’s probably too good to be true!
  3. Learn the basics of makeup. It’s really not as basic as putting on some mascara and some foundation and looking amazing. There’s a bit more too it than that, I’m afraid! Think about things like blush and finishing powder (it’s what seals your foundation, otherwise you’ll just look kind of sticky and moist). You need to moisturise before applying your makeup too! So make sure you have a good moisturiser as well or else you risk nasty break outs form when your makeup clogs up all of your pores. Make sure you have the right tools for even the most basic makeup – a sponge/brush for applying foundation, a blusher brush, a finishing powder brush (I actually use the same brush for both blush and my powder needs), cotton buds to remove wiley makeup marks, makeup remover etc. The more complex you’re willing to get, the more tools you will need.
  4. Learn to do eye makeup well (or not at all). Badly applied eye makeup make you look like a trash bag. If you can’t do your own eyeliner properly then don’t do it at all! Likewise with eyeshadow. The amount of times I have seen shitty looking eyeshadow ruining a girls face are countless and all totally needless. If you’re determined to wear fancy eye makeup then bloody well practice it before you reveal it to the world. And for the love of god, think about the colours you use because red might be your favourite colour but chances are it’s not going to suit your skin one and unless you have some mad skills then that’s one colour better left untouched!
  5. Lipstick or gloss? Not everyone can wear lipstick, which is very unfortunate but something you should know about yourself before slapping it on and leaving the house looking like a clown. Some people suit a gloss, others (like me) get heir hair all caught up in it and can only really do lipstick. Work out what works for you and also make sure you choose colours that suit you and ensure you know how to apply the stuff. Just because you’re wearing clear lip gloss doesn’t mean you can smear it wherever without looking in a mirror! If you don’t have well-defined lips then you’re going to need to use lip liners before putting on your lipstick. Otherwise you’ll be know as Ol’ Patchy Lips McGee (well if you were my friend anyway).
  6. Get your colours right! Just because that foundation was your colour last year don’t mean it’s the right shade this year! Our skin tones change all the time, due to tanning (or lack thereof) or just plain old aging, so you need to make sure your foundation is actually your correct skin colour before putting it all over your face. I thoroughly recommend getting the sales girls at makeup counters in department stores to do this for you as it’s their job and the lights there are great so they can work out your colour easily. This also applies for things like blush, lipstick, eyeshadow etc. Personally I always wear pink and black so I don’t need to update my colours often, but if you do change your wardrobe and style every season then your makeup should follow suit. Also, blue eyeshadow might be in right now but it will get daggy pretty quickly so do not keep wearing it unless you can really pull of such a vivid hue!

Once you have all of this sorted, you need to learn how to put it all on without making yourself look like a whore. Do NOT take your mum’s advice unless she always has flawless makeup herself because chances are she learnt how to do her makeup in high school and even then was never all that good at it. I suggest getting a professional to show you the ropes – usually this can be done for free (or at least very cheap) at the stand of your favourite makeup company at any department store. Otherwise there are a plethora of resources online to check out. For tips on foundation check out destroyx.com’s Basic QA for foundation and for pretty much anything else makeup related check out Doe Deere’s Blogazine as she is fantastic as a whole and will inspire you to experiment with colour! Meanwhile there are a zillion and one tutorials on Youtube that teach your everything from the basics of makeup application to some of the most amazing makeup masterpieces I’ve ever seen (check out this Edward Scissorhands costume makeup by Kandee Johnson – it is AMAZING!). Or at the very least get your friend who has the skills to give you some tips – there’s nothing much a girl loves more than passing on her style tips to a needy friend!

No matter how often or how rarely you make your face up, there’s no excuse for doing a half-arsed job. Good makeup is not meant to be noticed, but it’s the first thing people will see when done badly!

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Posted in Fashion and makeup, My Advice | 1 Comment »

My Pet Hates – Part One

Friday, January 8th, 2010

pet hates

I have about a zillion pet hates. I can’t believe I’ve never posted about any of them until just now! See, I’m the kind of person who get gets her hate on very easily and with what seems like the silliest things, but I get so darn passionate about it and start ranting and raving about ‘em and well, it’s pretty funny (even if I do say so myself)!

Today’s pet hate are for all the morons out there who think they’re doing good and are really doing no good for nobody. This was spawned by that ridiculous fucking facebook status upate thing where girls are encourged to post the colour of the bra they’re wearing as their facebook status in order to “raise awareness for breast cancer and confuse boys”. OH YOU’RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT??!! Aside from the fact breast cancer is probably the one cancer we’re all the most aware about (after all, half the stuff you can buy these days has a pink version where part of the profits go to the Breast Cancer Foundation), how is posting the word “white” going to do anything for anyone? Wanna know how? IT AIN’T!

I have a few other ideas for your goddam sheep. How about we raise awareness for a less publicised/sexy cancer like bowel cancer? Or is writing the colour of today’s poop not cute enough for you? Or how about you take an extra minute out of your damn life and actually donate some money and then make a Facebook status about that? THAT will make an actual difference. And as for the “confusing boys” part of this whole thing – ARE WE ALL STILL CHILDREN? “Wouldn’t it, like, be so cool if we, like, totally just wrote down the colours of our bra’s and didn’t tell the boys why?” “OMG they’d like totally freak out!” NO THEY WON’T! Show ‘em pictures of boobs, or (more importantly) boobs after having breast cancer removed, and maybe they’ll pay attention. It ain’t like you’re actually showing them your bra’s, so why would they give a fuck???

This is just the tip of the iceburg really. There’s been this sort of crap going on forever that has always pissed me off severely because people just follow the trend like retarded little sheep, not bothering to question WHY they’re doing it or if there’s a better way. Because ya know what? There usually is!

So next time you decided to show support for/protest something, think about what effect you’re making? Any? No? Then if you’re actually passionate about the subject in question then DO something that WILL make some sort of impact. Donate money, volunteer, whatever it takes to make some sort of difference. Otherwise sit down and shut up because you’re pissing me (and probably a lotta other people) off.

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Posted in Pet Hates, Rants | 14 Comments »

Michael Jackson vs Fatty Arbuckle

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Roscoe Arbuckle

After reading and commenting on a friends blog about Michael Jackson, I was reminded of the story of Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle. Never heard of him? That’s probably because he was from the silent film period and endured a terrible scandal that ruined his career and eventually killed him. In some ways it’s a lot like Michael Jackson’s story. A man at the top of his game has his world turned upside down by a scandal involving some kind of alleged sexual abuse. They go to court and they’re found innocent, but no one ever forgives or forgets and their career is essentially ruined. They die young as a result of their coping mechanisms for the hardships that came about as a result of their unceremonious loss of fame (ie. drinking, drugs etc).

We all know the story of Michael Jackson quite well, so I will elaborate a little more on Fatty Arbuckle (but not too much because I’d much prefer you go and read up on his story yourselves as it’s both fascinating and appalling what happened to the poor man). Roscoe Conkling Arbuckle was one of the most famous silent film comedians of all times, mentoring the likes of Charlie Chaplin and discovering Buster Keaton (my absolute favourite actor of all times, by the way)  and Bob Hope (who I hope you all know!). He was one of the highest paid actors of the silent film era, being one of the first actors to earn $1 million per year back in a day where it only cost a few cents to see a movie at a nickelodeon. He was one of the most popular film stars of the 1910’s and pioneered the silent comedy and slapstick humour. He was plagued by his nickname Fatty which he detested, as he was a very athletic and agile man, not to mention a magnificent dancer. He was rich and famous and adored by everyone, and was on top of the world.

But then came the scandal that ruined his life. He threw a party at a hotel in San Francisco in 1921 as a means to have rest from his hectic work schedule. Some unsavoury characters came to the party, as what happens to most parties everywhere, including the aspiring-actress Virginia Rappe who fell sick during the celebrations and was only hospitalised two days later as her sickness worsened. She died two days later from peritonitis and a ruptured bladder (she was actually a very sick girl in general,  she had chronic cystitis which was made worse drinking which she did an awful lot of and had had numerous abortions since a young age). As always, there was someone there ready to exploit the situation and ruin lives in the process. Her name was Maude Delmont and she made the claim that Roscoe Arbuckle raped Virginia Rappe which he was quickly charged for despite a distinct lack of evidence.

The story was a media sensation, as was Roscoe’s court case, of which he had three due to the first two trials being deadlocked and declared mistrials. Back then most newspapers were owned by William Randolph Hearst and he exploited the scandal in order to sell more papers. Roscoe was portrayed horrendously, as a fat deviant who used his weight to pin down innocent women and that sort of nonsense. Studio executives threatened other actors against speaking for Roscoe so he had very little public support from anybody, even his good friends, which only made his case look worse, even though prior to this scandal he’d been known as the “most chaste man in pictures”. Once acquitted and given a formal, written apology though, his life was left in tatters.

Who was going to let their children see a film of a fat pervert, acquitted or not? His acting days were over and so after a while he started making films under the pseudonym William Goodrich but lacked any passion and went through two divorces in the meantime. In 1932 he was signed with Warner Brothers to star under his real name in two short comedies which did quite well in the USA (though were banned in the UK despite it being 10 years since he was acquitted of the rape charge) . On June 29, 1933 he was signed to make a full-length feature film with WB since it was clear the public was prepared to accept Fatty Arbuckle back on their movie screens, which would have been his big comeback but that very night he suffered a fatal heart attack caused by years of drug and alcohol abuse.

To this day most people have no idea of who Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle is. If ever someone mentions to me that they like silent films, I always ask if they know about Fatty Arbuckle and so few do. Everyone knows Charlie Chaplin, but few know about one of the pioneers of the movie industry, one of the best slapstick comedians of all times nor of the scandal that ruined his life. In fact you can still read books about Hollywood scandals that mention the Fatty Arbuckle scandal in the exact same was it was portrayed in the media back in 1921 (ie. Hollywood Babylon).

I doubt that in 80 years people will struggle to remember Michael Jackson, in fact he will probably still be known as the King of Pop for many years to come. But I think it’s such a shame that someone who shares such a similar tale of tremendous high’s and terrible low’s is all but a distant memory of those few who think he’s worth remembering. It’s also a shame that this is a cycle that started back in the early 20s and continues on to this day, that celebrities get placed on such a high pedestal when they do well but can be brought back down so easily and violently, especially through the lies of the jealous and fame/money-hungry.

If you’re interested in learning more about Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle then I suggest tracking down a copy of “The Day the Laughter Stopped” by David Yallop  as it is AMAZING though out of print and very hard to find. Otherwise there is the very recent “I, Fatty” by Jerry Stahl which is written as though it is a memoir by Roscoe himself.

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Posted in Nerds and Geeks, Teaches of Ruby | 2 Comments »

The Art of Gift Giving

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

funny-pictures-cat-blinds-tail-present

I am sure this advice probably would have been better for all if given before the holiday season had finished but I am just not that clever and so I am giving it now instead. Better late than never, I always say!

Some people are good at giving the right gifts to the right people and some people are not. Likewise some people are easy to buy gifts for and some are damn near impossible. Personally I am not so good at buying people gifts but shockingly easy to buy gifts for.  Anyone who can’t work out what to buy me is seriously not a friend of mine because I am always going on about the things I like and I am clearly obsessed with all things cute/pink/black/skulls/blingy. Of course not all people are as easy to shop for as I am and have more elusive tastes so you need to do a little bit of detective work in order to find the perfect present for them (or at the very least, a decent one that they won’t resent you for buying them). Especially if, like me, you’re totally crap at buying people presents.

Ask questions! Do not go about guessing because you will more than likely get it WRONG. Whether you ask the recipient themselves of ask the people who know them best, try and get some hints as to what they want. You might be lucky and find out they’ve given their mum or partner a list of things they’d like and so you can work out what to get with the greatest of ease (make sure you don’t double up with whoever has the list as that’ll look pretty bad for you both). If there’s no magical list to save the day then you need to keep asking questions and possibly spend an afternoon shopping with them to see if they point anything out. Obviously it’s best to be as subtle as possible about what you’re up to in order to surprise them when you give your present but with some people that might not be possible and you might have to start being direct and ask them “What would you like for Christmas?”.

What about giving gifts that the recipient already knows about? Is this a bad thing? Personally, I do not think so. But it does depend on the person and the circumstances. In most cases it is better to tell your boyfriend/husband/male relative exactly what you want because a) they don’t take hints very well and b) they’re usually shithouse at buying presents, especially for females. Guys, I am sorry to tell you this, but you SUCK at buying presents for girls. There are a few of you out there who take hints, listen and end up getting fabulous presents that please the lady in your life. But that is rare. Listen up, because this is important: “The thought that counts” is a load of crap. Because if you buy the special girl in our life something she has NO interest in and expect that crap to fly then you’re a jerk and deserve to have your sorry arse dumped (or get the silent-treatment at the very least). Either take note of her hints, get her to write out a wish list or else get her to tell you exactly what she wants because chances are she doesn’t want red lingerie or a hot dog maker (I know a guy who got one of these for his girlfriend once, based on the fact she enjoys the occasional hot dog, she wasn’t happy. Totally hilarious but so WRONG). Also, do not try and get all creative. If a certain type of perfume is listed, don’t compromise and buy a Britney Spears’ perfume because it was cheaper or the sales lady suggested it or because you forgot the list because she will not be happy (this happened to a friend of mine recently, she was NOT happy AT ALL).

And lastly, be careful about who you buy practical gifts for. For example, if you bought me a “practical” gift like a wok or a toaster, I would probably throw it at your head. Not everyone likes practicality, particularly not in the place of presents. Presents should be fun in most cases, so why take away all the fun by giving them something dreadfully mundane like kitchen utensils or socks. Even if the person you are buying a present for has mentioned their toaster died, don’t go buying them a new one for Christmas. Firstly that is BORING, secondly it’s really none of your damn business, and thirdly you might end up buying them a replacement they don’t really want that doesn’t do what they want or doesn’t suit their decor. Unless you find a toaster that screams their name (ie. if someone saw a diamante-encrusted, pink Hello Kitty toaster that made my toast pink and Hello Kitty shaped then I’d be outraged if you didn’t buy it for me) then forget about it. Work a bit harder and find out what frivolous, fun thing they’re eying off and get that instead. After all, if they really needed that “practical” thing so badly then they probably would have already bought it themselves by now.

I hope this helps! I have used my own advice and so far my crappy gift-giving skills have remained a virtual secret to most people, simply because I was sneaky, asked questions and gave it lots of thought. Don’t be one of those people who everyone dreads a gift from because you’re too slack to put in a little hard work! It ain’t that hard and you will be richly rewarded for your efforts!

ruby_sig

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Bring it on Twenty-Ten!

Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

New Years Day with my Holga

Well 2010 is here and I wave goodbye to 2009 and wish it well and hope the door doesn’t hit its arse on the way out. So far I have spent the whole of 2010 being drunk/hungover/sleeping which I feel is a decent start, really. My resolutions aren’t doing incredibly well so but it’s only been two days, give me a break!  I did make a more concerted effort to take lots of photos though I daresay I will regret that since I used up a roll of film on my Holga which I probably shouldn’t have. Ah well the memories will be priceless (I hope). I also ate pizza AND McDonald’s already which I rarely do anyway but then again I was fairly drunk each time this happened so I will excuse myself temporarily. I also didn’t win the lotto either which I had some major plans or – $30 million would have helped me out in many amazing ways. But aside from being a fatty boom-ba and not a millionaire this year is going well so far. I have high hopes for 2010 and will make the most of this year and will look back on it and think “Yep, I did real good”. I had some nasty things happen to me last year (says the girl who was overseas three times in ‘09) but I will turn them around and use them to my advantage! You just wait!

In the meantime I am off to make the most of my Sunday by chilling out, sleeping in nice and late and making plans for the year ahead!

ruby_sig

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