Growing up is OPTIONAL!

I was linked to this article the other day, which got me very, very angry. In fact I ranted about it for the next couple of hours to anyone who would listen. Luckily everyone who endured the rant ended up agreeing with me (and joining in on the ranting). It’s about having to grow up once you’re 25 years old. Not in the “you can’t have fun ever” way (though they’re not far off it, actually), more like a “you’re an adult now, so start acting like one”. I admit everyone around the age of 25 ought to smarten up a bit if they hope to survive in the real world, but according to the douchebag who wrote this article once you turn 25 you pretty much forfeit any of the fun stuff you did prior to turning 25.

Well I say balls to that! I am a firm believer in the saying “Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional“. There should not be a certain age where people have to grow up and start acting like a well-balanced, respectable adult. Some people choose to do this early in life, some choose to do it when they’re in their mid-twenties, and others don’t seem to do it at all. And it’s all good! Personally I am the latter, I haven’t “grown up” yet and I don’t plan to any time soon. I mean, I have a job, I pay rent and  bills, I have responsibilities, I look out for others instead of being a selfish teenager all the time and so on. But I take great offense to this particular article implying that doing the things they listed should kick into gear by the time you’re 25 years old.

The fact is, there is no deadline for when you have to become boring.

Let’s look at this article in more detail, shell we? The first example is Remember to write thank-you notes. Unless we’re talking about a wedding, there is no need to write thank you letters. If you’re  a letter-writing sort of person then fair enough, go nuts and write as many as your hand will let you, but most people aren’t and most people don’t care. One friend stated that if he got a thank you note for giving someone a present, he’d probably throw it out without even reading it. He didn’t give the gift for puncy little thank you notes, and so doesn’t expect people to give any to him.

The next one is Do not invite yourself to stay with friends when you travel anymore. Well excuse me! The reasoning is because you should have a job and can therefore get a hotel room. Well maybe I spent all my savings on the damn plane ticket and the hostel beds I used while being in places where I don’t know people. Perhaps a free stay with a friend would allow me to see something I wouldn’t have been able to afford, had I stayed in some hotel. This leads on to the next point Do not expect friends to help you move anymore which is pretty much the same thing. Moving house is expensive, getting removalists to move all your stuff when you’re only moving to the next suburb just adds an extra expense that many people can’t really afford. If your friends are too busy to help you move, then ask some other friends (and maybe think about ditching those scumbag ones who won’t lend a hand).

This one just made me really angry: Do not share the crazy dream you had last night with anyone but your mental wellness professional. If I want to tell my mates about this twisted dream I had that they were in briefly, then I will. We all know dreams aren’t as interesting to other people as they are to you, but if you want to tell people about it, then go ahead. There’s nothing childish about sharing a dream where you and your friend won a million dollars and bought a marshmallow and puppy factory and married famous rockstars.

Do as invitations ask you. OK so you’d be a totally shit friend if you took five friends to a party when the invitaion said +1 only. But that time thing is bollocks. Unless you’re having a dinner party (which is usually a very boring and lame thing to do, in my opinion) then people should be able to turn up whenever they can. Most people tend to have informal parties at their homes or out at bars so it’s not a case of having to be there on time or else miss out. The way people are these days (check out my Case of the Flake People article) you can’t set a specific start time and expect people to adhere to it. Most people can’t and won’t, and so we all suck it up because only arsehole friends care if you turn up late to a party. Your turned up, after all!

Then we have Drinking until you throw up is no longer properly a point of pride. Now, most reasonable people over the age of 19 know it’s not totally awesome to go out four nights a week and drink enought to spew everywhere every single time. But dammit, if I have a massive night out that ends in hilarity/masisve embarrassment/vomiting into someone’s front garden then I am going to recount it to my friends and have a good old laugh about it. Now I’m 26, I’m not going to suddenly stop all my binge drinking completely and start drinking fancy wines in sensible amounts, or start drinking cognac and swishing my glass around so I can smell the aroma. Fuck that! I like my big nights out like the next average, well-balanced person, and by god I will gloat about my misadventures the next day if I want to!

Then there’s Have a real trash receptacle, real Kleenex, and, if you smoke, a real ashtray and get your speakers off the floor which are some of the most boring statements I’ve ever read in my life. I use toilet paper to blow my nose all the time? That makes me immature does it? What-the-fuck-ever! I will use whatever paper-like substance I want to blow my nose, and there’s not a dman thing anyone can say to make me feel like a kid for doing so!And by the way, my speakers ARE on the floor becaue they look good there and I don’t have a proper unit to store them in – if anyone has an issue with that, they can bite me and get out of my house.

I could go into great detail on every single point this girl made, but I’ve already made myself exceptionally angry just by looking at that stupid article the few times I needed to refer to it. My point is, acting a certain way at a certain age doesn’t make you a grown up. Using a hankie, being able to walk in heels, keeping dreams to myself, learning to change a tyre, buying shelves for my speakers and taking my earphone out when talking to shopkeepers does NOT make me an adult. Being my own person and loving myself despite my flaws and bad habits does. Friend are there for you no matter what, a good friend will help you move houses or put you up for a few nights if you ask them nicely. Adhering to these dumb “guidelines” will just end up making you a boring loser and will not win you any new friends.It will probably also cause you to lose you more interesting friends too.

My bestie just summed it up nicely when I asked what he thought I should add to this blog: “They can go and suck my dick”. Very well put.

My first hypnotherapy session

I had my first hypnotherapy session tonight. It wasn’t quite as I expected but still really good. I was surprised by how aware and focused I was throughout, I could hear everything the hypnotherapist was saying and yet I was in a deep state of relaxation. It was kind of uncanny actually, nothing like the movies or what you see on TV. It wasn’t a case of me nodding off to sleep when he clicked his fingers, and I didn’t snap out of it when he clapped his hands, wondering where the hell I was. I have a CD of this session which will help me hypnotise myself at home (as he explained it, hypnosis is self-done as it is you who listens to the “suggestions” the hypnotist makes and it’s up to you if you want to oblige).

Personally I am going because of my obsession with food. I could eat an eat until I explode, and then eat some more. I feel like I need to eat the moment I am doing certain things like watching TV, going to the movies, sitting at my computer (home or work) or whenever I’m not doing something with my hands. I also have this problem where my mind blocks out a lot of what I eat, especially the bad stuff. So at the end of the day I’ll think I ate really well and then I’ll suddenly remember all the fatty and sugary snacks I had during the day at work. Often I’ll start snacking regardless of a lack of hunger, and half way through or right after I will realise what I did and have the worst eaters remorse. If I was able to make myself throw up I’d surely have bulimia. If I didn’t go to the gym as often as I do, god knows how I would be. I’d be fat as a house, I guess.

It’s a psychological issue of mine, and willpower alone is not enough. My hypnotherapist actually said to me that willpower alone usually won’t cut it for most people – we have routines and habits stuck in our subconscious minds and they’re not biased, they do what they know and your conscious mind is virtually useless to stop it. Hypnotherapy is meant to teach your subconscious to stop its bad habits and learn new, better ones, the ones we have know consciously but struggle so much with because it goes against what we have ingrained in out subconsciousness.

I’m going back for a couple more sessions over the next few weeks, so I’ll keep you all posted. I have high hopes for this, so fingers crossed this changes my mentality about my eating habits!

Weekly Wrap 25/05/2009

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Given my appalling couple of weeks, I figured it’d be nice to wrap up my week – just the nice stuff that happened and have stuck in my mind.

Spending lots of time with my mum and getting stuff done / Doing a lot of exercise and feeling like a million dollars afterwards / Changing my eating habits and losing a few kg’s as a result / Seeing real-life macaws and hundreds of wild kangaroos on a unexpected bus trip home / An unplanned day off work that did me wonders / Fantastic news after a lot of bad / A bunch of flowers greeting me at work / Finding money while cleaning and having an amazing meal and seeing a film for FREE as a result / Excessive tea consumption / Silver platforms / Delicious perfume on sale / Finding amazing false lashes and nail decals for CHEAP / New Livejournal layouts that suit me far too well / Magners Cider / Singing bad pop music as loud as I can at work (without getting into trouble) / Anticipating my first ever hypnotherapy session…

This week is going to be so much better. I have a few interesting things to look forward to, like my first ever hypnotherapy sessions. I’m getting it to help my food-obsession, but I’m mostly excited about the whole idea of it, a friend got it done recently and said the experience was unbelievable, plus it worked! I’m going to something called a “Leadership Breakfast” through work on Thursday morning which sounds a little bit fancy and totally delicious. My mum got her loan approved which means she can move into her new house and not stress so much! This was what caused at least 40% of my stress lately so it’s a HUGE relief for us both.

I hope everyone else is having a good week too :)

One of the worst weeks ever

This has honestly been a dreadful  week. Not just for me, but for a lot of people, particularly people very close to me. I don’t want to go into details, it’s all very complicated and going over it will probably only upset me more, but it’s just not been my week. I have to wonder if there’s some sort of supernatural or cosmic force behind this? In south-east Queensland we’ve had horrific weather and flooding, and have been declared a natural disaster zone for all the damage that’s been caused. Numerous friends of mine have had nothing but terrible luck and awful situations in their lives and it seems like everything is going to shit for a lot of people I know.

Personally I have been trying to combat the negativity in my life by just doing things for myself. I have been exercising relentlesly, because I feel so good after a hardcore workout and an extra dose of serotonin can’t be beat. I have also been taking my issues head on and trying to deal with them as they come, instead of bottling them up and feeling all the worse for it. It meant taking a  day off work to just chill out and work some things out, but it was necessary for my own well-being.

I can only hope this bad news week is almost over for everyone affected and things will start looking up soon. I wish I had advice for anyone else going through similar things to me, all I can suggest is taking on your problems as they arise and fix them as soon as possible, and not bottle them up or repress them. Hopefully you will pull through and be all that more stronger for it!

I Love Links – 17/05/09

• Lucie Boshier. I found this from another blog today and found it fascinating. A “contraversial” NZ fashion designer and sex blogger.
• The Baseballs. This German bands covers modern pop songs but makes them into fabulous 50s songs. I am so in love with them!
• Top 10: Subtle ways to tell her she’s getting fat. What a crock of shit. How about being supporting and honest, you stupid slimeballs?! And don’t for one minute think a woman is ever dumb enough not to see your hidden agenda’, especially when it comes to weight.
• Fat Abuse… The last “acceptable” prejudice. Again in the weight department – this is something I feel very strongly about. I may be one of those people who obsesses over their weight and has never technically been more than a little bit overweight but it deeply offends me when people attack overweight/obese people.
• Doe Deere talks sex. I’m not sure that Australia did ban lady Gaga’s new clip but otherwise this was a nice blog about the joys of sex.

• You’re Haunting This House With Your Whiteness, Brian! Or, My Mom Is Unintentionally Hilarious. For some reason I also find the fact Stewie talks a lot creepier than how Brian talks.

• Queen of the Trailer Park. She  makes cool shit, is a new mummy and is making trashy classy!

• Geek Tyrant. For all your up and coming film trailer needs (and other geeky stuff). A Humpty Dumpty film? Oh dear god!

Ruby Talks Fashion

I’m not really someone you could call fashionable. I don’t wear the latest fashions and instead wear unusual items of clothing most people wouldn’t dare touch. I do actually really like fashion, even if I don’t follow it personally. I don’t have the figure or the personality for a lot of what you see on the catwalks or in the shops, plus I like to be as individual as possible (hopefully without looking too weird). So why am I here to talk about fashion? Clothes are a very big deal to me, as with most girls, and since I have a fairly unique style, I thought it would be nice to share a few of my style tips and secrets for those of  you who aren’t into wearing what everyone else is wearing right now.

Despite first impressions, my outfits tend to be pretty simple. In fact I tend to wear a fairly limited range of outfits. The reason for this is because I believe in picking a look for yourself and sticking with it. That’s not for everyone, but that’s how I manage myself and my zany styles. I also go for a certain fewcolours, mostly black, pink, purple and green. I do sometimes buy other colours but only if the item is to die for. I do this because I am obsessed with matching colours! I almost exclusively wear pink and black, which means I am always matching and I can combine most of my clothes with most of my shoes. Sometimes I wish I would delve into other bright colours and mix it up some more, but for now this is how I do things.

My ultimate favourite thing to wear are tutu’s! I cannot get enough of them and have quite a collection. It started with some cute black ones I got at Supre and then progressed into complete madness as I found them more readily available in stores. I’ve always been a skirt girl and I really do think tutu’s and I are clothing soul mates. Coupled with leggings (plain for day-to-day wear, fancy patterns for going out) and you have half of my perfect outfit. I usually wear a plan singlet top with the tutu/legging combination, often in a bold colour like fluro pink, to really set it off.

I also love dresses, especially 50′s style ones with big skirts you can twirl around in and have lots or tulle under-layers. Given my body shape, this style of dress tends to suit me the most as it accentuates my little waist and big boobs, while hiding my large rump. They can be dressed up and down so they work during the day and when going out at night. Leggings a ballerina flats make these dresses casual while staying excessively cute and girlie. Changing into stocking and heels dresses them up and makes them smoking hot at night. Dresses are one of my main exceptions to the pink/black rule because you don’t have to worry about colour-coordinating as much and if a dress is cute then it doesn’t matter what colour is, chances are you have to get it anyway (I’m always so excited when I find the perfect dress in pink though).

I used to wear jeans all the time, but don’t wear them very much any more as I kind of grew out of it. Not that I mean that in a negative way against jeans, it’s just that I wore them so much from when I was a teenager til my early 20s, that I got over them. I do still love black skinny-leg jeans, even if they don’t look too good on me. My latest pair are from London and feature white embroidered skeleton hands on the back pockets. Cute! With jeans I tend to wear just about any top, though I find it’s ideal to wear extra-sexy tops with jeans to tone them down a bit. I often buy lingerie to wear as tops but you can over-do it if you match them with skirts so I find jeans creates the perfect balance. Oh and if you haven’t worn a cami or corset as a regular top before – you don’t know what you’re missing out on!

As for accessories…well I’ve only recently gotten back into wearing them. I used to only wear a necklace, my rings and watch and nothing else. These days I now wear lots of brooches – I adore cameos, blingy spangles and big, gaudy flowers the most. I have also started wearing things in my hair (I love brooches that double as hair clips) and large, obnoxious earrings. I don’t believe in the theory you can’t wear big earrings and a necklace (and others like it) and tend to go for the “more is more” philosophy. As long as there’s some continuity in all you wear, then wear as much as you want! Loud and proud!

Shoes are the bane of my existence as I am hopeless with high heels. I love them so dearly but have weak little feet that blister easily and I am exceptionally clumsy so the higher the heel, the more dangerous they become. I wear a lot of ballet flats by day as they’re cute while staying comfortable. When going out I wear kitten-heels or wedge-heels the most as I can walk in them better than other heels. Any other shoe I have needs to be worn in thoroughly before I venture out of the house in it. Luckily I live within 500m of the best clubs and bars in Brisbane though, as I often have to run home to change shoes during the night!

Do you have a particular style that defines you? Do you obsess over matching colours like me, or are you mad for colour?

Why I haven't posted all week

Ahhh Bonjela gel, how I love you! In other words, I’ve had a fairly average week (tooth pulled, twisted ankle, various issues in my personal life etc) and haven’t had the time or energy to post this week. I will be posting again tonight, in case there’s anyone out there hanging out for some Ruby Velour wit and wisdom! I’ll try not to be slack like this any more!

I love links 07/05/09

I am always finding random stuff on the internet and I feel like it’s a crime not to share them with people (well apart from Twitter and Facebook, anyway). I am going to make this a weekly thing, probably every Thursday or so. Please note a lot of the stuff I do find on the internet isn’t motivational and inspiring…most if it is bizarre and hilarious and sometimes really plain stupid!

• Thoughts on Blogging by Nubby Twiglet. I am going to follow this advice myself, you’d better believe it!
• Squeezable Bacon! I don’t know about you guys, but this is the most amazing/appalling invention ever! I’m pretty shocked that it wasn’t an American invention though.
• Texts From last Night. Being one to send text messages I regret all the time, I like to laugh at people who do a far better/worse job at it than me.
• I should laugh at this as much as I do, but what the hell, it’s hilarious. No Doubt want fans to send in their own versions of “Just a Girl” for their new tour. Some of the entries are priceless. Most are just awful.
• Clothing of the Future – Year 2000. I love old timey films about the future and this one is all about how designers imagined fashion in the year 2000 to be. I actually wish they’d been right. A light bulb hat? Candy for cutie??? Shit yeah!
• Another You Tube clip – “Puke in my Mouth” which is a parody of “Jizz in my Pants” (which is the worse thing to have ever existed). This version made me laugh and I also like the Ms Taken keyring they have.
• Oh, you have 70 thousand Twitter followers? Congratulations Shitbag. I think people take Twitter far too seriously. In a years time some new networking site will come out called TwitFaceSpace or something, anyway. Calm down.
• Holy shit! The new Transformers movie trailer! I am so butt-clenchingly excited about this.
• Kevin Loutit’s Little Sydney. has to be seen to be believed! I could go into detail as to what they’re about but just go look at them and work it out for yourself!

Fangirling time!

I bought this little wallet thing off Etsy for $2 because I was a bit drunk at the time AND I very much consider Twinkie Chan to be a hero of mine. Because she has pink hairs, is obsessed with food and has some of the best tattoos of all time! ^-^

How to Survive the Caxton St Seafood Festival

After making the effort to go to the Caxton Street Seafood & Wine festival last year, I vowed not to go again this year. But a combination of a friend who’s new to Brisbane and free tickets was what convinced me to give it another go. This guide applies to just about every street party/festival that’s fueled by specialty food and excessive alcohol consumption, not just this annual event.

• Dress comfortably! This is not the place to wear anything too revealing or your new high heels. It’s crowded and on a street in Brisbane city, which means uneven footpaths, unexpected gutters, rubbish everywhere and rowdy people who have no manners. Chances are your heel will break or you’ll twist an ankle when you stumble on uneven ground. And once the night wears on, anything you wear that shows anything more than a little bit of cleveage or leg will get your harassed or groped once the sun goes down.
• Make sure you’re tolerance levels are at their peak. Guaranteed 90% of the people attending will be the types of people that you never normally deal with or even pretend to tolerate. We’re talking bogans of every type, families with kids who are tired and grumpy from all the excitement, girls who wear high heels regardless of any good advice and break your toes when they stamp on your feet in the crowds, kids who just hit 18 and are out to PAR-TAY etc. Aside from some of the friends you bump into, most of these people are not the types of people you want to spend any times with. And you better believe they’re gonna get in your face! So make sure to be tolerant and try to smile and go with it. No one likes a party-pooper, especially at a huge street party!
• Make sure you’re cashed up. Drinks are expensive and not too easy to come by. If you don’t have much cash (like I was this year AND last year, as it turns out) then have a few pre-drinks because you’re probably going to need a decent amount of booze to deal with the crowds, and $50 is not going to get you very far at all.
• Take cash and cigarettes with you. Unless you’re keen to wait in a line ffor an ATM for 45 mins plus, you should have all your cash withdrawn in advance. If you smoke, get a packet or two in advance because you’ll have nowhere else to buy them but the expensive machines at the pubs. It’s also likely that both ATMs and cigarette machines will run out by the end of the day/night.
• Find a good spot and stay there. Once you’ve done your wandering, you’re best off finding a spot that’s not too busy, has a bar nearby and (if you have smoker friends) has a smoking area nearby. The street becomes chaotic pretty early on, but nowhere near as bad as when the sun starts to set and people are well and truly wasted. If you find a good spot, claim it and enjoy it for as long as possible. If you’re lucky it’ll even have good music (in our case it was pub rock which was horrifying at first, but as we drank more it was kind of fun). If you can find a place with decent toilets then you’re clearly better at this than I!
• Leave earlier rather than later. Hanging around for the sake of hanging around means you will just get shittier as every minute passes and all your hard work at getting drunk and being tolerant will fly out the proverbial window. If the party starts to drag, get the hell outta there! Parties are only ever good when you leave on a good note so don’t stick around without good reason.

There are many more tips I could give you, but these are the main ones that will get you by. By skipping these steps you run the risk of having a terrible time. This festival is very hit and miss and usually tends to disappoint more than it engages. It’s a highlight on the social calendar of Brisbane but you must be prepared if you’re going to enjoy it in any way. Chances are you won’t enjoy it much anyway but it’s a bit of generally harmless fun and should be experienced at least once in your lifetime!

(The worse example of a street festival is the Notting Hill Carnivale in London. Holy shit was that intense. Fun, but very very full on. I’d like to go without a recently done tattoo though…man was I hurting by the end of the day)