RnB Music is not a Crime!

OK so what’s the deal with everyone hating on RnB music? Why is it that so many people will gloat about how diverse their tastes in music are, but then go on about how much they hate RnB. And it’s never “Oh I don’t really care for RnB very much”, it’s always “Oh man I fucking hate that rap and RnB crap!” with such vehemence and loathing! It always shocks me, because I am unashamedly a HUGE fan of RnB, hip hop and rap. This often comes as a massive shock to people because I apparently don’t look like the type of girl to like that type of music (but they’re also the people who assume I only listen to heavy metal and punk, so nuts to them). It puzzles me how people who boast about their fantastic tastes in music, but then disregard, or in most cases hatefully oppose, an entire genre of music.

So what is it about RnB, hip hop and rap that gets peoples goats? I guess the most obvious factor is the “scene”. The RnB/hip hop/rap scene is notorious for attracting thugs and wannabe gansta’s who like to dabble in drunken fist fighting or in the case of clubs in the USA – gun violence. But hang on! That’s an unfair generalisation, isn’t it? Maybe so, but in my experience it’s unfortunately justified. Mind you I have only been to RnB clubs in Brisbane and London, but they have all had the same vibe about them. All is fun while you’re dancing to Rihanna but then someone bumps into some angry dude and a fist-fight will break out in the middle of the dance floor. Not all RnB clubs are necessarily like this, I have been to some very sedate ones where there wasn’t any violence at all, but it does seem to be how it generally goes.

But is this a good enough reason to hate the whole genre? Hell no! Come on people! Every scene has something negative about it, but no one seems to notice them as readily as with the RnB/hip hop/rap scene. Every time I go out these days, there’s a fight breaking out on the dancefloor, at the bar or just outside the main entry. This ain’t RnB’s fault! It’s going on at all the clubs, bars and pubs! The fact is, people seem so scared of enjoying RnB music and going to the clubs that are frequented by homies, wiggers and wannabe gangsters! I am of the opinion that we need to start mixing things up by going to these venues and proving to people that “Hey, regular people like me can listen to this music, have a dance and not end up punching someone in the face at the end of the night”. And lets not forget you don’t have to wear excessively baggy clothes to enjoy the music (god I wish someone would tell these guys XXXXL shirts do NOT look good on anyone). If all we have left going to RnB venues are the dregs, let’s start drowning them out by having fun with what is an excellent genre of music!

Dissing a whole genre of music because of the scene and a few shitty examples circulating the in the music charts is uncool. The amount of people I know who claimed they hated RnB but then completely had an about-face turn after spending time with me and experiencing the many joys of Urban music. Sure it has some rubbish in there, but so do all other genre’s of music! Try to tell me you don’t secretly love a bit of MC Hammer, Usher, Bobby Brown, TLC, LL Cool J or Janet Jackson now and then! And let’s not forget all the obscure artists out there who fly the “Urban music” flag. It’s not all the stuff you hear on commercial radio, there’s plenty of amazing underground stuff around that would blow your mind if only you’d open it up a little!

Please note: This can also apply to other hated genres of music like country, heavy metal, ska etc. All of which are also excellent in their own ways. Be a music lover, not a hater!

(If you actually do dislike RnB, hip hop and rap because it is not a style of music you enjoy, then you should probably disregard this entire post)

Case of the Flake People

There’s a party on tonight, hosted by a good friend who’s been going on and on about it for the last few weeks. It’s not for a couple of hours yet but you’re really don’t feel like going, maybe you’re feeling a bit sick or just lazy, but basically going is the last thing you really feel like doing. So what do you do? More than likely you probably make up some elaborate excuse so you don’t seem like a jerk who just couldn’t be arsed going, right?

I saw an article about this a while ago and it struck me as being something we all do all the time without any thought about its effects and how detrimental it’s being to ourselves as well as the people around us. Why is it that people just can’t be bothered turning up to the things they said they were really keen to go to. And why must we creat all these massive stories to excuse the fact we just decided to flake out. Whatever happened to honoring your RSVP or being honest when it comes down to why you’ve decide to be a no-show. And in some cases, why do we think it’s OK to say yes to something then not follow through with it, without a simple call or sms to give a heads up?

In my experience (as someone who gets people flaking out on me a fait bit, and as someone who’s done a fair bit of flaking out myself) there are a few reasons why we do these things. For example, say you’ve been invited somewhere, like a friends BBQ but you find you’re still in bed and couldn’t be bothered getting up to go. In most cases, instead of pushing ourselves to go, we’ll find the mobile phone and send a text saying you can’t make it for whatever reason pops into your head (some classic examples include taking someone to the airport, visiting someone in hospital, family issues, being called into work etc). Personally I believe we do this for two reasons; 1) because we don’t want to look like an arsehole who’s too lazy to bother coming to something your friend asked you to; 2) we don’t want to hurt their feelings by admitting we are arseholes who are too damn lazy to make the effort to go to something they’ve asked you to. As for those who don’t even text/call to give some warning, while it’s not a very cool thing to do, I find people do this because they usually don’t think anyone would notice they didn’t turn up so don’t see the point in highlighting the fact they won’t be there. You’d be surprised how untrue that is. If a friend has personally asked you to come along to something, they will notice if you don’t turn up. Just because it’s a huge, rocking party doesn’t mean you won’t be missed, because you will be!

These days, what with just just about everyone in the world being on Facebook or other similar social networking pages, we seem to be flaking out more so than ever. It’s so very easy to “accept” an invitation when all that you have to do is click “yes” or “maybe” without really thinking about whether or not you’re going to be able to go at all. I’m constantly being spammed with event invites, and although most of them are from people I don’t even know or for events I don’t know a thing about, I always consider each one carefully so that whatever option I click I know I have been honest with my response. I know it seems kind of silly when it’s just a Facebook invite, but if you ever want to stop being a flake, it’s something you should start working on so that you can fix the problem in all aspects of your life. If you know you can’t make it to that CD launch, club night, 21st party or whatever, then say “no” and comment to say why! If you’re hovering between “yes” and “maybe” then make the decision right then and there: either you make a concerted effort to turn up or you say no. I think it’s better to say no and then randomly turn up anyway, than say yes or maybe and not turn up and be a flake.

So, in conclusion, try to be more honest with these decisions (and you know, everything in life). If you do decide to flake out, be honest and don’t come up with crazy/cliche excuses. No “visiting an obscure relitive in the hospital” or “I got called into work”, be honest and tell them you’re not up for it and apologise. Offering to make it up to them is also a nice addition (so long as you’re willing to do so, that is). By constantly flaking out, you’re going to end up being “that” person who never turns up to anything even after RSVPing yes. We all have at least one of those people for friends, so why would you want to become that person too?! If you say yes to an invite, then make a damn good effort to honour your word and go. So what if you were invited to three parties on the same night? If possible, go to all three. That way you’ve honoured your word and you’ve also given yourself a range of options instead of going to the one party and finding out it was a dud.

The Power of Positive Thought

I consider myself a very positive person. I’m the kind of person who can take bad news, a shit day, a poor investment of time/money and say “Oh well, that was no good, now what’s next?” and move on. I cannot see the point in dwelling on things that cannot be fixed and certainly couldn’t have been prevented. In fact, I tend not to dwell on the silly things I do or see people do, which I could have easily prevented and say “oops” and sometimes even laugh about it. Why? Because negativity doesn’t help anyone ever. Negativity feeds negative thoughts and actions, so by being pessimistic and dwelling on whatever managed to ruin your day, you’re just adding fuel to the fire and will inevitably make things worse for yourself.

Of course one can’t expect to remain positive all the time, we’re all prone to negative thoughts and feelings when things become a bit much. After all, we’re only human. I’ve always regarded people who are constantly upbeat, positive and peppy with suspicion! But adding more positivity into your life, even when doing so is just about the last thing on your mind, can work wonders for you. In the short term, it improves your mood. Which in turn can help brighten someone elses day, and start a magnificent chain-reaction to all those around you. In the long term it’s good for your health. We all know the saying “laughter is the best medicine”, and it is so very true. There have been so many stories of people who have defeated terrible diseases like cancer just being staying positive and laughing as much as possible. Imagine what it could do to a perfectly healthy person!

I’m not proclaiming myself the Queen of Positive Thinking but I do know a bit about how to forget the rotten stuff and focus on the things that make you feel good and can lift you mood:

• Think of how much worse things could be. Yes this is something our mum’s would say and we’d roll out eyes about, but it’s true. You car broke down? Better than having a nasty car accident, or not having a car at all, right? You didn’t get the job you were hoping for? maybe that means an even better job opportunity is around the corner!
• When everything seems to be turning itself shit, think about the things in life that make you happy. Nothing to do with what’s upsetting you right now, just the little things that always seem to cheer you up when you’re down. A favourite of mine is to go on walks with my mum and appreciate nature. The sound of birds chirping and watching them build nests. Seeing a magnificent flower that’s just bloomed. These sorts of things always bring me back down to earth and help me remember how wonderful life is despite beyond you’re little square.
• When life is bringing you down, do something you love to do, no matter how selfish. Go out with the girls/boys and get drunk and dancing, damn the fact you have to work tomorrow. Listen to your favourite songs, all  in a row, and sing them loud and proud. Re=read your favourite book/s and remind yourself of why the mean so much to you. Take a bath with 50 bath bombs and a bottle of champagne and get all wrinkled up as the water turns cold. Talk to someone who never ceases to make you laugh, inspire you and make you feel good (we all have a friend like this). Just do what makes you happy and forget about what’s bothering you, even for a minute.
• Be healthy! If you’re always feeling down-and-out, tired and miserable it could be physical. particularly if it’s not normal for you. This may not sound like fun, but eating healthy, delicious food and getting exercise works wonders for everyone. Sometimes negative or unwell/unhappy feelings are your body’s way of saying “I need some love and attention!” which is exactly what you need to give it. Never underestimate the power of a big, healthy salad and a long bike ride or gym session.
• Visit your mum or someone similar. I love my mum to death, and even if she sometimes drives me mad, being with her always takes me back to being a kid, whether it’s through reminiscing or just mucking around together and cheers me up immensely every time. If you live near your mum (or dad, or whoever made growing up awesome)  go visit them as much as possible, just involve them in your life. It will help you both immeasurably.
• Surround yourself with other positive people. God knows I’ve been through this one too many times. having negative  people around you will make you negative too. Maybe their chronic liars or attention seekers (or as my boyfriend calls them, “energy vampires”), these negative people will suck all positive thoughts from you and turn you into one of them. Don’t let that happen under any circumstances! Either cut your losses and find more positive friends, or else take it upon yourself to help spread the love and positive vibes. This will either be a tremendous success, or a dismal failure. Either way, don’t ever give in and never take their negativity to heart.

The most important lesson is to laugh lots and enjoy life. No, life wasn’t meant to be easy, but it’s not really that hard either. Think of what you have and those you love and never give in to negativity!

Current Mood:  peaceful

What I Wore – 2nd April 09

I went and saw Sneaky Sound System on their recent Poptronica club tour. People always seem so shocked when I say I’m a fan of Sneaky Sound System (an Aussie pop/dance band), but there you go: I love them! The show was really good, despite the fact I couldn’t stop dwelling on how I had to go to work the next morning. Ugh :(

Before we went to the gig, we checked out the brand new superclub in the Valley: Cloudland. I need to give this place a proper write up, because my god was it the most amazing venue I have ever been to in my life. A living wall, suspended chairs, a bar made of crystal balls…just an assault of the senses in every beautiful way possible. I want to go and have dinner there one day, and see what it’s like as a restaurant (I’ve not heard anything great yet, but I want to experience it myself). These photos were taken in the ladies bathroom.

• Pink sequined top, Portmans
• Black tule tutu, Ice Design
• Black lace leggings, Target
• Black bead necklace, free from a magazine (it was a designer necklace apparently)
• Pink shoes, thrifted from Salvo’s
• Pink leopard print handbag, Camden Markets in London

This is pretty much my ideal outfit. Pink and black with tule, sequins, lace and cute shoes. You should also note this was the first time I’d worn false lashes in many years – loved it and am totally getting back into the habit!

Supanova 2009

It’s no big secret but I am a bit of a geek. I wouldn’t consider myself a nerd, but I love a lot of geeky stuff very passionately. My biggest love is Harry Potter but I enjoy a wide range of fantasy and sci-fi books, comics and films. So it’s no surprise that I always look forward to Supanova convention that happens in Brisbane each year. It’s technically a “pop culture” convention which means it covers everything from anime and manga to comic books and figurines. They have guest stars from popular TV shows and films, as well as famous comic artists and writers and lots and lots of stalls to spend copious amount of money on.

We ended up buying a ridiculous amount of comics (mostly Marvel) and a lot of figurines. I ended up getting the Danger Girl series, two more books in the Sin City series, two Marvel Zombies comics, Neil Gaiman’s Stardust and a new one called The Last Man which looks really good. My sidekick got a bunch of Batman and Wolverine comics and a ridiculous amount of figurines. We also got an XBOX 360 afterwards, possibly because we shopped ourselves into some sort of frenzy.

Aside from spending all my money on nerdish merchandise, I love people watching. Nerds are most interesting people to watch, particularly since they get dressed up as some o the most exotic characters. Admittedly I don’t know balls about anything anime/manga related so a lot of the costumes were lost on me, but I could still appreciate how good they were anyway. I loved seeing the super!geeks in their proper superhero costumes too. Not these crappy movie versions, but the real deal from the original comics. I also loved some of the half-arsed costumes we saw around the place. Like the two girls wearing children’s Pokemon costumes, or the guy wearing a towel as a cape. I’m hoping we’ll get the guts to dress up next year and share in some of the fun.

The only unfortunate thing about a lot of the people at Supanova is how rude they often are. You’ll be browsing and one will just come over and barge you out of the way without saying a word. I tried not to take too much offense seeing as how little people-skills a lot of the poor things probably had :D The other unfortunate thing was seeing so many Twilight fans. OK so I’ve read the books and seen the movie and do have a bit of a crush on Jacob. But holy crap it was pretty appalling to see all the Edward fangirls showing off their “Team Edward” shirts. I’d always been ashamed of admitting I’ve enjoyed read the books, now I find out people are proud fans?! A total eye-opener!

Current Mood:  horny