As much as I hate to admit it, I am the kind of girl who is constantly on a diet and trying to lose weight. Everyone knows a girl like me, or else IS a girl like me, constantly striving to be slim through diets and exercise. It’s never a case of wanting to be healthy, it’s always “I want to be slim” and it always involves some new fad diet, a new gym membership or finding a way to work that involves exercising. I am the worst culprit of the people I know, it’s constantly playing on my mind that I have gained an extra kilo, that I skipped gym one day, that I ate a piece of cake, that I’m not losing weight depsite exercising everyday and eating nothing but celery and soup.
I hate it, to be perfectly honest. It’s not at all a healthy mentality and I know it better than anyone. I should be eating healthy and exercising to make myself fit, happy and healthy but instead it’s all about losing the fat arse and going down a dress size. It’s not all hopeless of course, I went on a diet and started an exercise regime that helped me lose over 8kg last year. I looked and felt AMAZING! I’d noticeably lost a great deal of weight and while I hadn’t dropped a full dress size as such, I had some of my clothes dropping off me and was just about ready to clean out the wardrobe. But then I started to slack off a little bit and so the weight loss eased up and the weight gain started to come back again. Then I went to Europe for a month and completely reversed all of my hard work.
So here I am, at a rut where I am desperate to get back to where I was, losing weight and feeling incredible with myself. Instead I am at a loss as to how I managed to get motivated enough to start another diet (though I’ve impressed myself by exercising still), feeling fat as a house and generally pretty yucky. I can’t work out how I got all that motivation back then and why I can’t get it back now. I had a bit of an epiphany last night, and so am making myself get back on track, instead of making excuses and cursing myself everytime I slip up. It’s not going to be easy, certainly not like it was last year (though it was probably a lot harder than I recall, as I assume I’m only remebering the good days where I did well and lost weight, as opposed to bad days where I messed up and didn’t lose or gained).
It’s not fun being obsessed with weight loss and dieting, but I am and I have to deal with it the best way I can. All I can do is be positive, eat healthy and do good exercise so that I can achieve my goal while maintaining a healthy lifestyle. And hopefully I will conquer the next dress size down this time! Wish me luck!