Last weekend was Supanova on the Gold Coast! These days we don’t get much time to do markets for Ruby Kawaii but we still keep up with pop culture conventions. I’m a little bit sad to say it was our last Goldnova though. It was just not worth our time to be honest. This was the first con we’ve done where we didn’t get stressed out as we still had a lot of bows leftover from Brisnova last year (it was a little bit slow too) and we even had somewhere to stay on the Gold Coast so we didn’t have to drive the 90 mins to and fro each day. But despite all that we just didn’t make enough sales to justify doing it again next year. Other stallholders said they were disappointed too, so it wasn’t just us having a bad weekend. I guess that between a dozen other stalls also selling bows (grrr) and the fact it’s so expensive to go to Supanova now (after paying to get in, buying food and getting a celeb autograph or photo, who has money for trinkets?) I think people have to be more careful with where they spend their cash. Ahh well, we had a good run. We’ll keep doing the Brisbane ones (I will hopefully also start doing nails at them) and leave the Gold Coast ones to go as a regular patron.
Here are some photos from the weekend. I just want to say I did a pretty big thing on the Sunday by wearing a crop top to match my sister. My body image is a bit shite and I am forever envious of my sisters (mostly) effortless, slim figure but I decided I needed to stop being so negative about my body and start practicing some body love! I actually feel like I made a significant difference to my self esteem that day, I’m starting to be less critical of my perceived flaws and
My name is Cara (but you can call me Ruby) and I like the colour pink, cartoons, movies, fist shaking, Harry Potter and 90s RnB. I live in Brisbane and occupy my time by fancying up nails and making kawaii stuff for your hair!
OK OK so before anyone says anything, I know it’s not Friday! In fact it’s Tuesday which means we’re halfway between two Fridays! But I was thinking of what to post about, since it’s been an obscene amount of time since I last posted and saw that last Friday’s theme was “Favorite Theme Park Rides” and I’ve been meaning to start doing this on Friday’s for aaages, I figured this would get me posting again after this recent rut and inspire me to do 5 Fandom Friday more often.
OK so this theme appeals to me greatly as I LOVE theme park rides. I love theme parks in general, but a big part of the appeal are the rides. I adore scary rides the most but I also love attraction-style rides that are well themed and relevant to my interests. So here are my top five favourites!
1. Haunted Mansion – Disney Parks
I have fond memories of riding this for the first time in 1997 when my family went to Disneyland. Mum was so excited as she loved it when she’d been in the 70s and I remember being dazzled by appearance of the ghosts, particularly the dancing ones! As it turns out this is Ben’s favourite too (he knows every word to “Grim Grinning Ghosts“) which kis why it’s the theme of our wedding this Halloween!
2. Big Thunder Mountain – Disneyland
Another Disney ride. This was the family favourite on our 1997 trip, my sister and I were obsessed with the goat chewing the dynamite and would cheer every time we passed him. It’s just a really fun ride that holds a very special place in my heart always.
3. Harry Potter & the Forbidden Journey / Dragon Challenge – Universal Studios Orlando
I guess I’m kind of cheating but I honestly couldn’t pick between these two rides! As excited as I was to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, I didn’t have particularly high hopes for the rides. I assumed they’d be aimed at kids so a bit wussy. Boy was I wrong! The first one is basically a simulator ride but also a bit of a roller coaster? It’s so hard to describe! You’re harnessed in properly because the booth you sit in flies around between the different screens where the story progresses. It’s unlike any style of ride I have ever been on before. The second ride is a proper roller coaster and it was AMAZING! You really do feel like you’re riding on a dragon, it’s brilliant.
4. Tower of Terror – Disney’s California Adventure / Hollywood Studios
Haha OK yes we’re back to a Disney ride… but this one is the best! It’s a dark drop ride which is terrifyingly fun but it’s actually the overall look and theme of the attraction that makes it totally awesome! It’s basically a new episode of the Twilight Zone (it even features Rod Serling in some impressive CGI) and is spooky as heck. I could ride it 100x and still never be bored of it.
5. Superman Escape – Movieworld
I figured I should bring it back to a local theme park for the last one. I’d have to say my favourite ride of all the theme parks on the Gold Coast would be the Superman Escape at Movieworld. It’s a proper roller coaster that’s exhilarating while also being really well done theme-wise. It starts off slow as part of the story but then Superman comes in and pushes the “subway” you’re on out of danger and you’re suddenly going very, very fast. It rocks!
Well I guess it’s time to spill the beans… Ben and I are engaged! It actually happened last Monday but we didn’t tell anyone except family and close friends as it was very much out of the blue and not exactly a traditional marriage proposal. But Ben was too dang excited about it and posted about it on facebook while at work last night and well, now the world knows!
So I’m not a traditional kinda girl at all, in fact I’ve never been that into marriage and have only come around to the idea of it since meeting Ben (not because he talked me into it, but it was the first time I felt like I actually wanted to marry someone). I was actually kind of steering towards a commitment ceremony instead of a wedding since I wasn’t going to be taking his name and mostly just wanted a cool party with my friends and family and to wear an awesome dress. But last Monday evening we somehow got on the topic of engagements and I told Ben that I didn’t believe in them and thought it was preposterous that women felt like they had to wait until their partner proposed to them when it’s something they really, dearly wanted. In some cases having to wait years and years! Nope, that’s not for me. Ben was a bit surprised, apparently I hadn’t really mentioned this to him before, just that I would say no if he ever did one of those big, public proposals. So he asked what I wanted to do about marriage then and I admitted I thought it made much better sense that we as a couple who both want to marry each other should discuss it together and just mutually decide on a wedding date and skip the engagement nonsense altogether! We kept discussing it and at the end of the conversation we agreed that it made perfect sense for us to get married on Halloween since it falls on a Saturday this year anyway (and admittedly I’d been entertaining the thought of a Halloween wedding since talking to a friend who’s having her wedding in October this year).
So that’s it! It’s not particularly romantic but it’s exactly how I wanted it. I love Ben to death and want to marry him and only him, but I am also a proud feminist and I wanted it to be done in a way that made me happy and not just the way it’s traditionally done which I find is often oppressive and/or redundant these days. The wedding will be Halloween/Haunted Mansion themed so it won’t be super kitsch Halloween, but a bit more classy and gothic horror (without going full goth because… nah, that’s not for me). There’s so much to plan but we’re also keen to make this a very chilled out affair and just a great big fun day for everyone who attends!
In case you haven’t been to any of the Disney parks, here’s a walk-through of the attraction which gives you a pretty good idea of the look we’ll be going for :D
Last weekend Ben and popped down to Melbourne very briefly, in fact we only had two days there! The main reason for our visit was because some friends of Ben’s were getting married, but I was also fortunate enough to coordinate a nail art gig for a feminist fundraiser event for the same weekend! It was my first ever interstate nail art event too so it was all very exciting.
We flew in early afternoon of the Saturday where we pretty much had to get ready for the wedding right away (well I did, Ben only took 10 minutes to get ready, the chump). It was held at Collingwood Children’s Farm which is a fully operational farm right in Melbourne City. Amazing! It was such a lovely venue for a wedding and I got to pat/stare at a bunch of animals :D
How good does Ben look in a suit? It’s the one he had made in Thailand last year and this was his first time wearing it! My dress is from Dangerfield and stockings by Black Milk Clothing.
The next day we took it easy die to some hangovers from partying hard at the reception, stuffed our faces with vegan fare at the Cornish Arms, went home for a nap and then headed to the Tote for my nail art event. A friend on Facebook approached me to do nails at her event because local nail artists wanted to charge a booking fee which she was unable to do as it was a fundraiser event, so I was delighted to offer my services. It was called Y LISTEN and was held on International Women’s Day and was raising money for YWCA Victoria. There were lots of bands and musicians playing, all female-dominated and it was a really cool night. I was shocked by just how stylish the women of Melbourne can be, Brisbane has a long way to go.
We flew out the next morning feeling somewhat worse for wear, but it was fun to have such a whirlwind trip to Melbourne and get back to our regular schedule again!
Well well well it has been AGES since I did a wishlist post! In actual fact now is the worst time to be lusting after new clothing because I need to be saving up for our Japan trip in May! But these things are all too cute and evoked a pastel goth kinda vibe so I thought I’d share:
I have decided I’m going to start blogging my random feminist thoughts here. I have a lot of them all day every day but I’ve been finding it hard to do regular posts about feminism because I tend to put too much thought in them which means I often don’t get around to posting them or I think it’s not interesting/engaging enough. So instead I will post smaller “femmo-bites” about something I happen to be thinking about right now.
Today’s one stems from a facebook post I was commenting on. The OP shared a link where a girl in India confronts the man who tries to touch her inappropriately and without her consent on a plane. Almost immediately she was swamped with guys saying NOT ALL MEN in a variety of colourful ways. A number of people clarified that she did not mean ALL men at all but these dudebro’s kept going and on and on about it, even suggesting women should specify “some men” in future posts/conversations to avoid confusion in the future (ugh). This was my response (slightly edited for this post) which is my stance on why #notallmen is a harmful derailment tactic:
The fact is, a lot of men do things like this. Not all, not even most, but a lot. There are also a lot of men who mightn’t actually do this sort of thing themselves but think about doing it or don’t see why there’ such a fuss about the men who do do it. The reason for this is because many men have it deeply ingrained in them that women are objects rather than people. They feel like they, as men, have the right to touch these objects that they find desirable. For a long time, the vast majority of women put up with it because it was deeply ingrained in us too that this was how it was and we had to accept it. It’s only been in very recent history that women have found themselves able to stand up and say NO, that is NOT appropriate, and even more recently that laws have be adjusted to reflect this.
Feminism is still crucial these days, even though at a glance it might seem like women and men are pretty much equal. The wage gap and the glass ceiling both still exist, for example. But very importantly, too many men are still finding themselves unable to view women as people rather than objects and so they touch, abuse, harm and kill them in abundance. Sometimes women find themselves unable to yell at a man for touching her inappropriately because there is the very real risk that he will harm her for daring to stand up to him. The woman in this video found herself in a position where she could safely confront the man trying to touch her without her consent and did so. But if she had been in a different scenario it possibly would have been safer for her to be quiet, ignore him and leave the situation as quickly as possible. That is not equality between genders, that we cannot stop something horrible happening to us because we might get hurt or killed for saying no.
We have a very long way to go, because there are still too many men who are like this and when women try to talk about it, a bunch of other men get upset because they feel unfairly targeted despite the fact that wasn’t actually the case. That harms these conversations because it means women have to then double back and clarify that they didn’t mean ALL men at all and the original conversation has been derailed and brought back to focus on men. That is counter productive. So PLEASE understand, when women are talking about this sort of thing, we do NOT mean ALL men do these things. We are referring to those men that do. If you don’t do these things, GREAT. Keep not doing those things and maybe have a go at listening to what women are saying instead of wondering if we’re indirectly referring you and bringing the conversation back to your hurt feelings!
Well I told y’all I’d get back into blogging and so I did! It’s nothing particularly special but I wanted to smash one out quickly while I was excited about it and to get back into the swing of things! So here you go:
As anyone who reads my blog has probably realised, I don’t post here so much any more. I usually chalk it up to not having enough spare time but I know deep down that isn’t necessarily true, though the real reason has always managed to escape me. I’ve also found myself utilising social media (SM) less and less in recent years. I mean I go on it a lot still but I’m actually posting there a lot less these days. Instagram tends to be my SM of choice, I still post stuff on my Facebook occasionally but I severely neglect others like Twitter and Tumblr even though I value both mediums (and many others) greatly.
It wasn’t until I read this article today that I finally started to understand why I may not be posting online as much any more. It’s not because of time constraints or because I’m getting older ans less interested in the internet at large, I’m starting to think it’s because I have been scared off by online bullies and trolls who always manage to find a post of mine to attack, and feel to exhausted and over it to bother with their bullshit any more. And that makes me sad. I love the internet! I adore SM! I’m only 32 and I don’t have kids, I’m nowhere near too old for the WWW yet! So why have I been scared off?
Because I am told that I should not feed the trolls, that by reacting and replying to them they are getting what they want. By not responding to them I am starving them of the attention they so crave and so they will eventually starve and die. But that’s not true is it? Because we’ve been doing that for years and the trolls haven’t gone anywhere and in fact, are only getting worse. While it is obvious that trolls derive pleasure from our reactions, they also appear to feel vindicated when we stay silent. When a troll attacks a woman for daring to have an opinion online, we either give him more ammunition by responding to him or we do exactly what he wants which is to stop having that particular opinion (or at least keep it off his precious internet).
I have also been told over the years that it’s not particularly desirable to post too much “negative” stuff on SM and that it’s always a downer when I do. Whether it’s because it makes their feed a little less pleasant as they’re scrolling down or because it encourages vigorous debates in the comments which they perceive as “causing fights”, I don’t know but I’ve been told this enough to put me off of posting on my SM unless it’s funny, interesting or cute. Now that I think about this, I’m really annoyed that I felt pressured to post less because some people didn’t like my non-pleasant posts. I mean, they could always just scroll past my posts, couldn’t they? Why do I have to censor myself just so their feed is more to their tastes?
So I am done with treading carefully, ignoring the trolls or refraining from posting anything that’s not light and fluffy! I like posting about social issues like feminism and racism on my social media and I don’t give a damn if people find it too much of a downer. If a troll leaves some bullshit comments on my social media and I feel like responding with my own brand of trollin’ then I damn well will! if they get too much and I’m sick of them, I will delete their shitty comments and laugh about how pathetic they are (and probably share it on SM too). I am sick to death of being made to feel like I don’t really belong on the internet just because of my gender. Why should I feel intimidated by arsehole misogynists who have nothing better to do than to say nasty stuff on a complete strangers SM? Fuck that noise!
I think one of the first things I’m going to do is post a new vlog. After being attacked by some particularly nasty creeps a while back on one video, I’ve not felt confident in posting again. But I liked vlogging and I’ve been desperate to put my excellent video editing skills to use after many years of neglect! BAM! Take that, you fucking trolls!
Today I received my glorious new Aladdin dress from Black Milk, which I was able to buy with the gift vouchers I got for my birthday. Because I am a pretty big fan of Aladdin, I happened to have some very appropriate accessories to go with my outfit, including a Jafar hairbow and a Genie necklace. Fun!
Can you believe it’s 2015 already? Not to sound like an old fart, but holy moly, where is time going? I remember new years eve 1999 so vividly, I’d finished high school and had just turned 18 and spent it with a couple of my best mates and our families at Southbank. Ahhh such innocent times when I had no interest in drinking and wore handmade “Go Millennium Big” shirts.
This new years was a pretty cruisy one. Normally we make specific plans but we didn’t this year and decided kind of last minute to go to one of our favourite bars for the night. Beforehand we were invited to a friends picnic on the river to watch the sunset which was absolutely magical, until the mosquitoes came out in force!
2014 was a pretty interesting year for me. I was still coming down from the high leftover from our US trip, something that took months to subside. I was feeling incredibly unsatisfiedwith my work life, I knew I couldn’t keep working for “the man” and office works was bringing me down more than ever. After much thought and after a particularly bad refill at a cheap nail salon, I decided to bite the bullet and get a Certificate in Nail Technology. I get pretty nervous over big life decisions and so I was scared as hell about this one, but the course made me very excited about the prospect of a career change and by the end of it I knew this was what I needed to do! I set up a nail salon at home and have gotten to a point where I’m getting pretty darn good at it, especially the nail art! We also got a new dog, the sweetheart known as Midwich who has enriched our lives greatly. Shiro has changed a lot since we got her, for the better. He’s more affectionate than ever and luckily they both get along really well. We also went to Thailand for a week! I never planned to go there as I have a bunch of other countries on my to-visit list, so it was fun to have an excuse to go and see a very different part of the world! I celebrated Halloween for all of October with my 31 Days of Halloween challenge on instagram which was a LOT of fun! And I become a better feminist, learning about intersectional feminism and all that goes with it.
Not everything was hunky dory though. A week into my nail course I fell down a step on the way to work and fractured my ankle. It took months to get better and even now still hurts on occasion. Fortunately I didn’t need to get surgery though! The bit that is the most annoying though is how it stopped me from being able to exercise, I was already a bit slack on that front (but I still went to gym a few times a week), and once the routine has broken, it’s so damn hard to get back into it! So I’m pretty much at my biggest and am not too happy about it. As I’ve posted on here before, I struggle with my own body-image so it was something I worried about a lot in 2014 and was a little bit powerless (and perhaps more than a tad unmotivated) to do much about it.
My plans for 2015 so far are as follows:
Do nails full time! I am very likely to be doing this in the next couple of months thanks to an opportunity with a fantastic company who’s expanding to Brisbane soon. I’d like to open my own salon but that’ll probably be more for 2016.
Lose weight, get fit. It’s a cliche but I was too busy in 2014 to focus on this so it’s time to change things for 2015! I miss my fit, healthy body which, in retrospect, was actually bangin’. If only I’d realised this back then!
Sort myself out blog-wise. I know I will never get back into posting like I used to, and I’ll admit I’ve considered packing it in a couple of times lately. But I don’t want to quit and I feel like I should be able to post more often if I just committed to it. I also want to start vlogging again. I love both of these things and it’s a shame I’ve slacked off so badly in the last couple of years.
Travel! We’re actually going to Japan in May but I want to get myself sorted so that we can afford to travel more often, both overseas and domestically. We’ll hopefully visit a few other cities within Australia this year, including ones we’ve not been to like Perth!
Be a better friend. I am such a slack friend! I need to fix this! I have no excuses except general laziness, and it’s gotta stop before I have no friends left at all :( Going out of my way to plan stuff with mates, invite people over or just meet up with them for coffee or a beer is on the agenda for 2015.
I am excited about this year, I reckon it’s going to be a BIG one full of adventures and positive life changes :D